Chapter Five – The What Ifs in Life

As i dealing through my illness thirteen years ago I had a lot of What If’s, Should Have’s, and Could Have’s on my thoughts, but the main one was What If. The one question raised on my mind often while dealing with my illness. “What if I died?” That was a scary question because I would not have known what would have happened after I died because I would not been able to see. “What would my parents and family do without me?” Questions like that raised in my mind constantly. It was horrible for a seventeen year old to think when her life was only yet young – not yet a grown up in the adult world just yet. Honestly questions did rise in my mind a lot and during my illness lots of questions arose and I never shared those thoughts with anyone – not even my closest friends and family members.