Happy Birthday, Grandma

I know that my grandma is no longer here physically but in my heart she is still in my life and today Grandma would have been 82 years old if she was alive today. She may not be here to celebrate her birthday but in my heart and memories I am celebrating her birthday by doing what she wanted me to do even if she is not here. Years ago, as a young girl, my grandma told me that she did not want me or anyone to stop what they’re doing in life because she would someday not be there for me or anyone. To this day, even when she died four years ago yesterday, October 1, I remember saying that she wanted me to live my life the way it was to be lived even though she was going to be gone, I remember those exact words. That is probably why I personally think I don’t cry at funerals or memorials of someone’s death. When Grandma died, yes, there were tears shed, but not sad tears. They were tears of relief from watching her suffer for so long with the congestive heart failure she had for a long time. Seeing her in the hospital bed, dying slowly was very hard at times but I had to be strong at a not so strong time, and I remembered those words of long ago my grandma said. I had, about five hours before Grandma passed away, read the letter that was written to her by me, and the words in the letter were probably of relief to Grandma knowing she could go and be free of the pain she was in. Mom said that she was trying, Grandma was, to respond by opening her eyes and look at me, but she was very weak and the struggle was a big effort.