Opening Up and Being Honest

For the last couple of days I have been personal in my readable journal entries and I do have to admit that it has been GREAT! I have been open and honest in previous journal entries at Dear Diary but I never felt so GOOD as I feel right now. I have a dentist appointment later this afternoon. In fact my ride will be picking me up about 2:15 p.m. and that is an hour and thirty minutes away. I have MORE teeth work to have done but believe me it is not going to be as bad but I surely hate being poked with the needle where novacaine comes out and I hate the sound of the drill on my teeth. The smell is a burning smell that makes a taste in my mouth that is not at all tasty. I am almost done with appointment as far sa my teeth are concerned but I think I still have one more appointment with the dentist after today’s appointment as well. I think the work that needs to be done is not going to be as bad as the first three teeth that were worked on last week Monday. Was it Monday? I FORGOT! Oh well…

The weather looks kind of iffy outdoors right now but here I am bored to death once more and time is slow and not passing by quickly enough. The time is definitely a little faster than the time I experienced on Saturday where time just seemed to hold still but then again my hormones have calmed down slightly and I don’t feel like I am on edge right now. In fact I am not nervous about my dental appointment. My dentist, the son of my first dentist, took real good care of me and no fuss was even expressed at my end as my mouth was propped open so wide it hurt, and the deepness of the cavities did make me teeth hurt for acouple of days. The sun is not shining and it is gray and dreary outdoors that is kind of depressing and making my apartment seem dark even though I have the blinds open to allow some natural light in outside my lamps that are turned on in the livingroom. What else can I say? I am running out of words as boredom is setting in and writing has become a slight chore. I wish I could take a nap, like my kitty (cat) Emilee is doing right now on the back on the recliner in the livingroom here. My computer is in the livingroom right in front of the window. The television is one behind me with a movie that is playing that I think is not worth watching at all. The program Hunter ended eleven minutes ago now and nothing is on television until I leave for my appointment anyway. It is time for me to turn the television off since I am not even paying attention to it. The movie on television right now is DUMBER THAN DUMB I think…opinion only of course – not a straight fact.

I do have to thank my Dear Diary friends here for posting a comment now and then or two after reading my entries. It makes me feel, again, that I am not alone and I am not the only person who feels strange at times during moments of being a woman. It is definitely not easy being a woman sometimes even though I never plan on having a sex change or anything so drastic as that. I do “hate” having my periods now and then and this month has been one of those times. I think now I have gotten over the hump of this part of a woman’s life and I feel practically normal with the feelings I have been having. The other day, which was Saturday, I could not concentrate on anything around me, I could not sit still for five minutes until I got out of my apartment for a couple of hours, and the four walls that keep me in quiet solitude and secure seemed to feel like they were closing in on me and my mind was raging over the silliest things in life. In fact, some of the things my mind was raging over were thoughts that were definitely untrue and my mind was playing some kind of trick on me. Anyway, I got out of my apartment with my friend “M” and went to see Scooby Doo in the theater and I laughed through the funny parts and in many ways I wanted to cry over the parts that seemed somewhat sentimental such as the Mystery’s Inc. clan have broken up for a couple of years and were all of a sudden asked to solve a mystery at a place called Spooky Island, and the fact that the group got back together at the very end as Scooby Doo and Mystery’s Inc. team. Tears have flowed that day outside the movie that I thought I was crazy for crying so. In fact, as sentimental as I am, I feel like crying right now because bringing up something that happened two days ago really touch my heart in a BIG way.

Here I am, with the television off, my compuuter running on the internet, the lights in my living room on, sitting in quiet place I call my home. The only sounds I hear is the hum of my computer and Emilee taking a bit of time for a bite. I wonder what cats and dogs taste while they eat their food since they don’t eat people food everyday like us people do? I can not imagine the taste of cat or dog food, either. That has to be gross but I have heard of people eating cat or dog food to taste it – even the little children who are yet explorers of their surroundings about them. Here I am rambling on and on and probably boring my readers about what is written here but who cares! This is my place to write whatever I want and that is always good. The air conditioner just came on and now that overpowering the sound of my computer him nd Emilee is now in the window sill looking out the window at the ground and surroundings below her. I am on the third floor of the apartment building I live in and the ground is far off and no one would be able to land on their feet unless they are good jumpers and climbers of the world. Emilee just jumped off the window sill and back on her perch on the back of the recliner where the AC is keeping her cool from the sticky weather we do have right now.

Well, I beter run for now. I will, weather permiting, come back later after I return home from the dentist and get resettled. This is a long entry I know! Bye for now.

About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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