Saturday was NOT the greatest evening for me. In fact I was feeling the pressures of negative and positive fighting in my head. I have this issue in my life where I do not always feel loved even though I am loved, and there are days I need the reassurance that I am loved by someone or my immediate family. I do not know exactly where this I do not feel loved comes from but I have a feeling it has a lot to do with my mom being in and out of my life ever since my parents divorced in 1979 and my mom was always in and out doing her own thing in life. That is the general reason I have this issue going on in my life off and on. Saturday evening proved to me to be a long hard night as I battled through the bad and the good. The good defeated the bad by the way and thankfully. I had gotten the reassurance that my adoptive mom loved me by talking to her Saturday evening when I was feeling the horrible pressure racing through my head as I was calming down from a hyperventillating stage of my life. I have to give her credit where it is due in helping me out that night by writing a little something today, three days later.
Yesterday, I got home from studying at school I had asked my adoptive mom to write on a piece of paper “I Love You” on it and she did that without raising an eyebrow or asking questions to my silly request. I now have that piece of paper on my cupboard door in my kitchen as a reminder to the love my adoptive mom does have of me. Ever since that piece of paper has been posted on my cupboard, I have been smiling knowing it is there and smile when I walk past it or even look at it from where I am – usually on the futon/couch watching television. It has been a positive for me since yesterday afternoon.
