Anixety HIT!

Anxiety hit tonight and the dratted tears rolled down my cheeks at a relatively good speed. HORRIBLE! A lot of thought on my platter today I guess…who knows! I could not sort it all out well. I kept bouncing to and fro on a couple of issues that really borhered me most. Those issues being about my friend Catie and how my friend Richard feels about her directly, and the fact that I did not get an answer knocking at another friend’s door until she has told me by the third knock that she was not wanting company right now. Why did she not say so on the first knock is what bothered me the most! I do not understand that about some people. I think I would have done it differently but by the sound of my friend’s voice on the oter side of the door, I could see why she did not answer the door until the third or fourth knock. I do not know how many times I knocked anyway…

About my friend Catie…I am not sure if I am beginning to feel drained here! My friend Richard will not do anything with Catie and will not come between Catie and me, but he does not feel comfortable around her. I understand that. I did not feel comfortable around her at first either but after getting to know her, she seemed to be an okay person just like many other people. I have known Catie for a long time now. I know Catie is a special person with special needs and so on. She is a nice person even though she can be sometimes annoying but she is so lovable and so sweet. Who couldn’t be annoying? I know I can be sometimes…BELIEVE ME! Oh well…anyway…Catie’s Catie and always will be Catie. A good person she is.

Anyway, my anxieties have now left me and I am now getting relaxed and ready for tomorrow. I hope none of the plans tomorrow backfire! I had enough anxiety today – truly and honestly.

What a day this day was. I was fine most of the day until Richard and I sat down to dinner at Perkin’s but then anxiety was beginning to creep in before that. I still feel the feeling of anxiety and that sometimes feels worse than the anxiety attacks themselves. When I got home from being with Richard, I was confused and crying and not sure what was going on in my life. My life is sometimes so complicated even when it is not really complicated. I am one person who is who she is…ME!

About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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