It Will Never Happen

All of my life I have found having friendships with people is so important to a person’s life. In my case, it has not been easy to make friends because I was a little different and the shy, quiet type. That was a long time ago and so things have changed throughout the years. Yet trust NEEDS to be in a friendship – like every relationship – or there is nothing. Why did I title this entry, It Will Never Happen? There is a very good reason for this title. My second entry, Irritated, is the ending result to this entry, and I hope I DO NOT go in circles trying to explain my thoughts and feelings.

Kelly & Jimmy, & the Fine Little Group

I have gotten to know Kelly and Jimmy in the past year and a half, and feel I have gotten real close to Kelly. I do know that I have hung tight to Kelly and still do every now and then and we have irritated, frustrated each other often, but our friendship is still intact. I have known Kelly in high school and our relationship was a rocky one then, but we can say differently now. It is better and more mature in our younger adult years if you think that 32 and 33 years of age is young, lol. Anyway, I will never walk away from her or her husband in this lifetime. I love them both so much. Jimmy is such a sweet man and his Down syndrome is non-existent with me. He is a fine man living in the real world and has a job and he loves his job very much. He also loves gettig together with me and going to church on Saturdays when he does go since he does not go with me every week. Kelly and Jimmy are two special people and I am glad to have them in my life today and forever.

Hope is a different story. She is the one who called me before 9 a.m. the last couple of days even though I told her not to call before 9 a.m. in the morning. She has called me after 9 p.m. when usually she does not call anyone after 9 p.m. herself but she has. Anyway, she and I have been friends off and on throughout the years and I have, in recent weeks, included back into my life, but I feel that if I get too close to her, our friendship will be strained and very uncomfortable for both of us. I feel that our relationship is more acquaintance than friendship because of the past between us. My relationship with her will never be like the relationship between Kelly and Jimmy. It will never happen because of my feelings still feeling rocky and unsure about Hope. I do care about Hope and that will never change but I can not do more for her right now. I will get together with her when I can, but I have my friends who I see on a daily, regular basis.

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As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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