It was spent out of Omro. In fact we went to Red Granite this afternoon to visit a couple of my mother’s Aunts on my Grandpa Clarence’s side. It was, for both places, fine visit, too. After visiting the Aunts, we went to the gravesite where my grandparents were both at rest. The gravesite was beautiful but it was something I did not expect the sight of as I forgot what it looked like and I do not get up to Red Granite often enough throughout the year. Last year my grandfather passed away and it was over a year ago I was last at the gravesite at a little burial session. It was an odd time for me then and today was an odd time for me as well. I remember standing at the edge of the gravesite not sure if I could muster the strength to be any closer but I drew in a deep breath and went forward and looked. I could, even though I was not crying, could barely see the names on the headstone where my grandparents lay. My stepfather did take a picture of me behind the gravesite and I do not know how I really looked I felt strange inside — that closure that has yet to arrive in me or did it arrive a long time ago. I have no idea really.
This morning I was walking into the kitchen where Mom and Donna were talking and honestly the disgust and the feeling of anger seemed to rise in me so I will write about it later. What my mother was talking about was the strained…no more relationship with her only son and grandchildren. Mom blames it on my brother’s wife and her mother and I know really and it just disgusts me to hear such and no repentence whatsoever has even healed her heart, and the relationship between Mom and my brother goes a ways that I can not ever explain in reality anymore. Whatever my mother is dealing with, she has to get over it and live her life the way she always has and forget it, but she hasn;t. She gets me so mad sometimes!!! MOTHER!! Good grief, Charlie Brown! BOY O BOY!