Yes, I am still up. Can not sleep because of the fact that I had taken an 1 1/2 nap instead of an 10 minute nap like I had first planned. Yes, it is after midnight here now but that is okay. I have had something eating at my heart since December 12th and it won’t leave me alone but I am not going to write about it again now or ever because what happened on December 12th is long gone and over with now. Just my heart still aches over the idea of what happened due to the fact that I first trusted this person but now can not anymore. This person is so influential for one and I can not influence her anymore even though I have been told by many people that I am a good influence for this person — a person who is slower in thinking but not considered a retard but a mentally handicapped young woman. Who this person chooses to hang around with is not my problem anymore than who I hang around with is this persons anymore … at any given tome. Yes, my heart still aches and it is very bothered by what was founded after the Christmas dinner but one’s upsetness is not my problem since the ball is not in my court to play back. My heart will always ache for this person because I care about this person more than she wants or cares to know right now and that may change over time now that I have decided to not have nothing to do with this person at this time due to our differences have changed the relationship I once had with this person.
If I did not write about this tonight I believe that my heart would have had a very heavy burden.