More Venting Time…
I had awakened between 730 – 745 am to Perils of Penelope once again this morning and decided to get up and have some alone time before KH got here this morning between 1130 – 12 noon – more like after 12 noon possibly…grrr…to have some alone time and do some more writing, watching TV, reading, and playing on Facebook. Anyway, I had awakened thinking about the entry I had written last night after I said good night and God bless and then had the need to vent and shahere my thoughts and feelings before going to bed for the night. I did not retire to bed until after 1130 pm and do remember the computer saying it was 12 midnight before finally falling asleep on the living room couch. I really had to vent and I know that my feelings went in every direction again last night but I do not mind it really because that is how my mind works a lot of the time anyway when anxiousness, negative emotion, and when I get upset and unhappy about something. I even repeat myself a lot and I have this one friend who does not like it when i repeat myself over and over again, and that hurts my feelings. She has been giving me the attitude that she does not accept me for who I am at all because I repeat myself over and over again, and I have always repeated over and over again ever since I was a little girl about things. I have been angered by this one friend a lot lately because she has been copping an attitude with me lately and this friend can not be called upon her attitude because she will cop even an attitude even worse than the one before. Sometimes I believe, still from the two physical altercations we had, she likes to pick fights and try to be physical all over again, but I also believe that it is just a fragment of fear I have when I am weakened by Satan’s grasp and have to wiggle out of the grasp through God’s rescuing care and arms. I do not cry at night as I once did but I do admit that I still cry at night sometimes – scary as it may seem. I do love my friend very much and my love for this friend will never falter. We are like sisters now. Sibling rivalry? Yes, I believe it to be so. My friend does apologize for having a bad day and does apologize for her attitude that day all the time.
I am feeling better as far as having been sick with bronchial pneumonia, a hoarse voice, and a plugged up left ear that has been driving me crazy since I have been sick from March 29th and that week. I can hear out of my ear now and have been able to since the weekend began and ended. I have today and tomorrow left to put ear drops in my ear(s) to help out a little. I believe this morning my ear is definitely almost back to normal…FINALLY! My voice is almost totally back as well. Thank goodness the virus has pretty much ran its course. Yay for me! What happened to me scared me more than my dehydration episodes have in the most recent past. I hope I never get as sick as I felt again! It was awful, scary, and something I do not want to experience ever again for as long as I live.
Even though my day has just pretty much started, I am having a fairly good morning so far. I have watched Perils of Penelope Pitstop – more less listened to it – The Snorks and the Smurfs. I do not mind getting up early and going to bed before midnight – when I can and anxiety is pnot laying its nasty little game with me and my body – and having more of my day. I will be having my shower this afternoon, CSE will be coming down this evening for a while if she is feeling up to it, and then not sure what will also be a part of my day – reading, playing games, and so forth. I do not have a busy week here at all this week but next week I have my showers, a meeting, an appointment, cleaning, grocery shopping and food preparation. I love having a relaxing week like this week here but I do enjoy being busy and have something to look forward to in the process. As for today, another relaxing day. I am not going to do much of anything, lol, like I usually do on my not so busy days. LOL