I am up for the time being. It is after 4 am in the morning and here I am up – not fully awake exactly at this hour but aware of my surroundings at least. Yes, I am tired but what can I do when I wake up for a while with the need to write. Moments – a need to write do not come at an early hour of the day very often but when it comes, it cones at full force. It is no big deal when it does happen but sometimes it can be a hassle when I want to sleep and have a good physical and mental state – work or not.
I am up and here in the need to write and relax a bit. Sleep is out at the moment this early Wednesday morning. It happens to be the last day of Aygust today and I am still counting the days KM moves out of here for good and never to return to live here again. I have not spoken to her at length since she was here a week or so ago. I am not in the mood to talk to her at length right now or in the future after she moves out by October 1st. She is a liar and someone who cannot be trusted anymore. She lied about MEE and his girlfriend/fiancée. Her resources are people who lie. I am beginning to wonder if she even has resources and she lies through her teeth… I found out yesterday from another person I just met – a cousin to MEE’s fiancée she says – stated that her cousin is pregnant again and her first baby is not a year old yet. The idea chilled every blood vessel and bone in my body. I was pretty shaken up by the news and told my BFF and we both believe that MEE is probably getting his girl pregnant to get more money from the state. I find that idea horrible and gross and I do hope that MEE and his fiancée get help for the illnesses they have. I am so GLAD that MEE is out of my life today and out of my life he will remain for the rest of my life. He is one sick individual! I have not sId anything to anyone except to my BFF and I dare say anything to KM the lateSt news and I will not either.
The other day I have decided to walk away from CSE for a while because her attitude lately has been strange and uncomfortable for me. I am not busy enough now-a-days since work is still new and fresh and having her at my place has become too much for some reason. Yes she has been a big help to me and Bing this summer but since we reconnected I have seen changes in her that have been uncomfortable for me lately and have dealt with enough drama in my own life and around me that it makes me cringe and my heart ache way too often. Her birthday was yesterday and I did not want to even celebrate her birthday or do I wish to at this time. I need my space. Bing and I have not had time alone with just us two for so long. Not having CSE here Tuesday and Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or anytime yet this week as of date, I realized Bing’s need to have me to himself and he has been a very good kitty lately. Having someone here everyday was too much for Binowg and I believe he thought I was ignoring him when I wasn’t. Bing and I have had some wonderful talks and cuddles the past few days. Bing does understand that that I have shower gals come and go 6 days a week, though. What a cat he is. I do love Bing very much and have realized how much I do love him very much and will do my best to understand him more Tom now on. In fact… we have Lapp time and cuddle time with him everyday now that CSE is not visiting often now.
Now it is time to take a little nap before my 7 am alarm goes off and I have to get ready for my shower gal to help with my shower. I have more I need/want to write but it can wait for a while. I am going to be back later – after my shower and my shower gal leaves. Going to say good night and God bless for a liitle bit and come back later. Bye for now…