My world is very confusing right now. I don’t know what is going on. I just learned by a phone call this evening that BW’s dad has passed away last night so explains why he tried calling me this morning. His mother died last year in December and now his dad dies last night. I do feel bad about it but I am not comfortable with BW at all. I don’t want nothing to do with him at all yesterday, today, or tomorrow. I will not attend the funeral because I do not feel comfortable after what has happened between us in the past several weeks and how BW is emotionally, physically. I don’t mean to sound so cruel but I have been hurt. Even with CSE, I am still hurting. I am doing my best at walking away from negative aspects but I am still running into snags by how I react to things. Like how I reacted and acted with CSE last night. AARRGG!!! I do not always know what direction I am going when things happen. Another AARRGG… Something I’d wrong with me.