Yay! Today is the very last day of October 2011 and I can let October go for one whole year until it comes again next year 2012. I really do want to forget this month – at some point – even ever existed as rough as the month was for me – again once more did a month be a rough time for me emotionally and somewhat physically, and somewhat mentally. This month was rough for me because I did not feel good for three weeks of it and wanting to not see two birthdays and an anniversary of a family I want to forget for the rest of my life – being disowned by the family in PA. I do dislike my brother and his family more and more as days grow without communication from anyone in that family – a brother I consider dead and already in the ground forever and he also considers me dead and already in the ground as well too. What a jerk and jackass he really is – wife and kids included – dead! What bitches and bastards they all are being so sick and cruel and nasty to the family in front of their faces slapping them hard and talking ill and cruel behind their poor backs – mine included unfortunately in their eyes dead and already in the dang ground. Sick as they are and I do not feel sorry for them. I am pissed at them all! They better not come crawling on their hands and knees to my front door and knock and be allowed in because they will not be allowed in my home after how they treated me and my most loving and caring family. My SIL may not have lied to me about how my family once talked about me but my SIL is out of my life now and not even considered a member of the family to me anymore either. Yes, I am hurt and royally pissed at my PA family big me that the anger inside me builds up harsh all because of them assholes of today’s world. I wish my big ass brother would divorce the bitch and leave the damn kids behind for good – their sick and crazy bitches and bastards and my brother is a bastard for allowing such a woman to be the ruler of the damn household! My SIL is such a royal bitch and pain in the ass in my book. I am sick and tired of remembering my PA family as much as I do – all hurt by them all.