January 15 – Sharing My Thoughts of Yesterday and Today

I do have to admit that I have been super duper busy lately.  I have not written in my diary for a long time because I have been busy.  I still find this place my special place to write and share my thoughts with other Dear Diary diarists who share their thoughts as well.

Another thing I have to admit is the fact that I have A LOT to say and write about but the words are not coming out the way I wish they would.  It is a jumbled mess but the mess is getting cleaned up as quickly as possible.  I also want to spend A LOT of my free time on Facebook sharing about God and Jesus, and keeping in touch with my friends and family, and playing the very addictive games.  I can not promise or anythng because if I promise something and then break my promise, it is never a promise to begin with.  I want to continue writing in my thoughts, feelings, and happenings in the world I am living in but ‘when’ is only the big question right now.  Like I said, I do have A LOT to say.  The other problem with that I having a lot to say is where do I begin because there is a lot of beginnings right now.  YIKES!  My life has become more private than it has ever in the past most recent and far past.  I used to love to tell the world my story and what is going on but now I am not comfortable doing so because the internet has changed so much from when it first became a place for us to be a part of.  I still love it here, and always will with a passion.

I do not see CSE as much as I used to because of what happened several days ago here at my apartment but I am no longer afraid of her.  I just do not allow her to come down here as much as I used to for reasons she has other friends to be with as well, and when she scared me that one morning, I just could not have that come back into my home.  Also, once again, I have allowed another friend get under my skin and I am angry with myself for allowing it to happen.  I wrote about it in my diary that is more private and I will share what I find it suits the purpose.  My love for God and Jesus is growing and I wish never to cram down anyone’s throat at any given time as I have had lectures on such subjects.  My friend NMS calls them “sermons” and I have heard her sermons over and over again so to speak.  She goes off in a tangent sometimes and I just want to scream and tell her things but it is best to keep my mouth closed and listen.  As for what happened the other morning in my home, it was scary and it did not sound human at all that was coming out of CSE’s mouth.  It has happened twice in my home and the second time it scared me whether or not it was what it could be – a demon possession.  That is what part of NMS’s “sermon” was about the other night.  I did not go to bed angry or upset and I did not lose any sleep over it, but  I sure woke up not happy yesterday morning.  I knew it was “a stay home” day all day long then.  Oh, don’t get me wrong here, I do not mind NMS’s talks with me or anything… I just find myself stuck and confused at times when we have NMS’s talks that deal with me.  I will be okay.

I have a lot more to say yet on other matters.

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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