I Am Hurting Badly II

It still continues despite the complaints I have made.  Knowing that my neighbor, once a friend, is really mad at me, I know what she is doing is being done on purpose.  She has been talked to and told why I did not go to her directly before the complaints were filed by the manager, and yet she is mad at me.  She did not even say a word to me on Tuesday when I was in the community room and another tenant, a friend of hers, told that she is not talking to me is because I wrote those complaints against her and her boyfriend, and her boyfriend is NOT on the lease and has been staying here day and night for the past two months, and this neighbor/friend of hers told me this while in front of three other tenants.  That is what threw me into tears Tuesday before the Christmas potluck I signed up for.  I was so upset that I went to the manager and asked her to please get my pickles back and that I was not going because of such attitudes and I was so upset over it.  The manager did get my pickles back and she did convince me to go back to the party since shew as going.  Yesterday afternoon, early evening, while talking to another tenant I can talk to, told me she heard of the incident by another tenant so I have come to find that gossipers are not friends.  What my neighbor is doing in the apartment right above me has been hurting me so bad that tears and my ongoing replay of the past two months, the complaints, seeing the neighbor’s anger as well as not being talked to, a tenant telling me why my neighbor is mad at me, and then hearing that yet another tenant has talked about the incident Tuesday afternoon will not stop playing over and over again.  Being a Christian and Satan is attacking me big time with what I am weak with – relationships – these past two months have been very emotional, and I have been crying a lot since Tuesday knowing that people who gossip are not your friends.  That is one reason why I am not going to step out of my way to see the tenants in the building any longer except for in passing and an occasional hello, and visit a neighbor who lives next to the community room.  It may sound extreme here but my kidney health does not need to worsen because I am emotionally down, highly anxious, and having some down time because of depression.  What I had to do was not wrong on my part and if my upstairs neighbor still wants to disobey the rules and regulations of living here she is on her own and so are the neighbors I once enjoyed hanging around with including my neighbor above me.  I am going to let her hang herself and get herself kicked out of here or wait patiently for her to move out.

To begin what began two months ago and my nights were being disrupted was one Saturday morning when I met my neighbor’s boyfriend.  Upon meeting him I did not like him from the get go, not because he was going to have a relationship with my neighbor, but he is dirty and looks homeless.  My neighbor met him while running an errand and they met on the street somewhere between here and their meeting spot.  He does not drive but rides a bike that is a girl bike, and he is not at all handsome or looks like anything good to look.  Now, since meeting him I have come to find that he is a liar.  As soon as I met him I felt trouble going to brew for my neighbor and she is going to change her attitude, and since Tuesday, my gut instinct has been 100% correct.  My neighbor is two-faced.  I do not need friends like that at all.  I no longer trust my neighbor above me.

This is what I have venting about for the past two months now.  This is why I am hurting badly and can not stop replaying everything that has been happening lately.  Now, with time almost 7:30 PM Friday evening I am going to take my evening medication, get ready for bed, and get some sleep.  I did not sleep well last night because my heart is aching very badly and I am not happy right now.  I also have church tomorrow, Saturday, and I want to go and plenty of sleep is what I need to function almost 5 hours at church.  We have opening song service, a mission story, Sabbath School, sermon, potluck, and prayer service (in this order).  Going to church Sabbath mornings makes me happy even though I am not very happy outside of my spiritual life right now.  That is why I said Satan is attacking me very good at what I am weak at – relationships.  Thank you for listening to my vents and reading what I have been going through.  God bless!

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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