A Little Venting Going On With Hope On the Rise

Today has been Mother’s Day all day long.  My day is ending here very soon.  As soon as I am done writing, I am going to bed.  I have a big day tomorrow at it will begin by 8 AM.  I am doing okay.  I had a good day.  I texted Happy Mother’s Day my dad’s wife, talk to my mom, and have time with Bing Crosby the Cat this morning, afternoon, and evening.  Bing stayed in my sight all day long.  Last night to this morning I slept for 9 hours and 50 minutes.  The tenant and her boyfriend are now gone from here for good, and it has been a quiet weekend and I have not experienced a quiet day or night for weeks … not until she was evicted from here and had to move.  What I observed and saw while knowing that the neighbor was being evicted and had so many days to get was something out of a horror flick in my way of thinking.  I felt I lived in horror (or at least … fear) during the time she was causing so much trouble here with her boyfriend.  Now the horror is gone, I can live and leave in peace without the fear of leaving my home without being with someone just to feel safe and secure.  Living with anxiety/panic/fear/the unknown was scary enough.  Now I should get used to the idea of being able to hear other neighbors come and go, laugh and chat outdoors and in the building within earshot again.  Today I experienced the joys, laughter, and chat of neighbors sitting outside on this beautiful day for the first time in a long time.  I am now able to grieve properly the loss of a friend I once had with the neighbor above me until six months ago as well as the death of a dear, close friend I got to know for the past 19 years.  NMS’ birthday would have been this month if she was still alive (May 19).  I can now grief the loss of a friendship when it was hard to do so while the noise was going on 24/7 above me.  Life here at Burbank Plaza was not great when the noise and problems arose and the idea of moving came across my mind once again like it did before years ago.  Do I feel sorry for my now former neighbor?  No, I do not.  What she did was against the rules of living here and she must pay the consequences.  Even though she blames me and many others for what happened and does not take an responsibility of her actions, I know I did the right thing in life to be able to sleep at night and rest during the day.

Another day has come and gone and a new week has begun.  I am going to say good night and go to bed.



About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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