Friday, August 10, 2018

How long will this entry take to write? I have no idea because I have been thinking about some things ever since the week has started this past Sunday, August 5 (maybe since August 2) and my heart is a little bit on the aching side of some of my thoughts. With this said, truly and honestly, I did not have a bad week. I just feel that some of the days from July 31 to August 2 would be the best time to see and hear what other tenants would be thinking because of the Salvation Army truck and another organization that came to get the desk because the Salvation Army pick up service men would not take it because either they were too lazy or not totally prepared to take an item that was yet in good working order and able to be sold. Anyway, the desk has been gone and I have been enjoying my new much smaller desk ever since Friday, August 3 and began using it August 5. I was, supposedly, the talk of the building. I do know, from my IRIS hired worker AR that a tenant did come up to her when the desk was being taken to her Sears co-worker’s truck to be hauled away and ask her what apartment they were clearing out and who’s desk they were taking away. AR then told me this tenant said she was naturally nosy. I did not find it funny at the time, but I do now — days later. Tenants here are naturally nosy indeed, LOL.

What I have been thinking about this week, to this day, is about living in an apartment complex, HE and her deal with cancer, and the happiness I have been having off and on lately. I thought today is the perfect day and time to express my thoughts and opinions about some things that are going on around me that just need to be brought out in the open. When my feelings get bottled up long enough, I just feel sick all over and it can hurt enough that real pain is felt. I need to keep to myself more and not worry about what other tenants think, say, or do even though I am one of those people of many who take things to heart. Some days I am ok with it and others I am not, and I have no understanding of why it happens that way. Some days I wish I could go back in time in a time machine of some sort and do things differently in all areas of my life, I would do it in a flash. Now, I will talk/write about HE and her deal with cancer.

The life of HE has been tough for her. She suffers from epileptic seizures, has sleep apnea, heart pacer, and now dealing with cancer. I have been friends with her off and on since 1989. I find it hard to understand her at times and that is why our friendship has been on and off because of my choosing. I want her to be happy and able to deal with all that has been happening to her and I have been praying for her. I have HE back in my life once again, but I have her at a distance. She is a positive person right now. Her happiness is what it is today because of a life I do not know about enough to judge her and judging her right now is something I am not doing. I just know she is not a happy person right now by the way she talks to me. I am not going to let our friendship depart again because one day she is going to die from complications to cancer. Now I am going to talk about my happiness.

I am awaiting patiently for my loveseat couch to arrive on Monday, August 13. For now I just have my new desk and chairs to appreciate and be happy with. The loveseat couch will be the final touch to my living room ensemble — a match or not, but new stuff to replace old donated stuff that was just too big for my apartment as well as a little depressing. I do love my new desk very much and ever since I got rid of my futon and desk, I have been very happy to see the space my apartment — space that indeed safer and better to get around with a walker. Now I am just waiting for my new loveseat with sleeper to get here and get it set up.

About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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