When I say my planet is spinning, it is usually my mind going around and around specific subjects I have been thinking of lately. Sometimes it scares me while it prods me to continue to move further. There is one matter that comes to mind often is having a second kidney transplant. I do not know why I am afraid. I do not understand why I am not ready other than I am twenty pounds overweight. Or the fact, I don’t want another kidney transplant right now. Yes, I have had my transplanted kidney for thirty-one years before the need for dialysis for the second time in my life. My mom told me last year that I will know when I am ready for another transplant, and I will be prepared. Not right now. On April 24, I have been going to dialysis for two years. My mom was going to be forty-five when she donated her kidney, and now she is seventy-seven. The kidney has run a good run for thirty-one years, and I have a nephrologist who hasn’t had a patient where a transplanted kidney lasted thirty-plus years. I am this doctor’s first patient. I feel blessed and honored, honored without the swelled head.
So what do I want to do? I do not want to do anything about it now. I am not ready yet. What do you think I should do?