I have to say that I just read a “friend’s DD and I feel like her being busy with life. When it comes to my health, I always seem to get emotional, a little paranoid, anxious, and deal with the ups and downs of (possible) depression. I will not deny that depression hit the past three weeks. Either I didn’t have any time to write, or my feelings got in the way to where I didn’t pick up the computer to write.
When I learned that I had to wait for a couple Then, on June 22, I had to go back to the hospital’s IR (Internal Radiology) to have my arm looked at again to have the graft repaired then fail to work a second time, and this time have the catheter placed back in the chest. I had the graft nine months before it quit working. I have another (my fourth one) to map out a spot for graft placement on Tuesday, July 13, 2021.
Even specific fears have come into play again. I am unsure if they are fears I have had before: Satan’s rendition to scare me that God does not love me or am truly afraid because I am now fifty-one years old today. It is nerving. I am going to be okay. I am fifty-one years old now/today. Yep, I repeated myself, lol. I think I am back — for now.
I have decided to use the Google browser over the Safari browser. I’ve used Safari for so long, but I like Google Chrome as well. When Safari had some difficulty loading some pages, I decided to see what Google Chrome would do, and the result was faster and not frustrating. I was having some difficulty getting to my DD page on my computer only for some reason, so I had to use my iPad most of the time. With what was happening in my world the past three to four weeks, the frustration was high enough to cause a little break of confidence. I am still undecided, but I believe that changing browsers once in a while helps the creative juices of the mind and soul. Switching browsers is a good idea at times.