Writing in a journal is strange because I have not written in a blog for so long. Feb 10 to Feb 24 is a fourteen-day hiatus because I have had a rough month. I will say that I will be glad that the month is almost over. A patient at dialysis passed away on Feb 8, 2022, and she became a friend in the past two and half years. JA died unexpectedly from a brain tumor. I did not know that she had passed away until the social worker KG, came to me to tell me she had some sad news (JA passed away). Before I was told, I thought that maybe she was not feeling well and not coming until Thursday. Hearing that she passed away started a snowball rolling that has led me to have a rough month with anxiety that was so bad that I went to the ER in a snowstorm and back home.
The snowball effect lasted several days, and I ended up in the ER with insomnia and shallow breathing last week (the week of Feb 13 – 19, 2022), and sleep was non-existent for two and a half days. It was an experience I hadn’t had in five years or so. I have to admit that anxiety is an illness, and this illness does find me, and I don’t understand sometimes.