May 15, 2022 – A Day of Thoughts

My Diary 

My Life in Words 

Vegging Out Day

Today is one of those days of vegging. No, not on food exactly. I have been watching seasons of Murder, She Wrote lately, and I call that a marathon of shows. There is no company today, and I am still dressed in my comfies until tomorrow when JP, my caregiver, comes back to work for a couple of hours. Every Sunday, I have a day of rest from a week of dialysis treatment. It feels good to have one day to myself that includes a black cat named Magic. 

Where Am I Going Here? 

Yesterday, while at dialysis, I did some reading from the Bible. I had the Bible read to me. With the scriptures read, I can sit back, close my eyes or follow along, and I am finding that I have some work to do to be a better Christian, a follower of Christ, and friend. I do not feel guilty, but my heart needs to be stronger. Please do not think I do not love God, but I tend not to ask God for help. My prayers are wimpy and stupid, even though they are not by any means. I need to remember to pray at mealtime. Growing up with my dad and his wife, we never prayed at mealtime, but while visiting my Grandpa Clarence and Grandma Myra, prayers were said at mealtime and before bed at night. My maternal grandparents were Catholic. Now I want and need to work on remembering to pray more other than what I share in my blog each day, week, and month. I am, indeed, not perfect like God is. 

Not Perfect 

As I sit here and think about my imperfections, I must admit that my world is spinning at a speed that would make anyone dizzy. What am I thinking? The friendship was dissolved because a neighbor and longtime friend said that I did not understand that she was sick, and because of that, we could not be friends. Yes, I have been hurt by her words and her actions in communicating with me. I have been wondering how this person has been doing, and I hope she is doing fine. I have taken responsibility for my part and action to the point where I am comfortable with God. My heart does not ache or show any sympathy, but I will pray for this now, old friend. I need and want to be happy and be comfortable in my skin, and this once friend had made it difficult to understand. Yes, she may be sick, but her continuation of planning to help me and then canceling stopped me from thinking about my health. I am happy at Garden Court, and one friend who dissolved our friendship a few weeks ago was just a minor bump in the road when it happened. Why am I mentioning this? I am asking myself if I did the right thing. From reading passages yesterday, I am sure I did, and yet, why am I am not feeling the opposite? 

With that said, now I can go on to other things I have going on in my thoughts. Have a good night. I will write more later or tomorrow.

Dialysis Updates 

For May 10, 12 & 14 

May 10  

I will not argue how dialysis went today. It went well, and we had no hitches. During the session, either the technician who took care of me had the magic touch, or I did not have any anxiety because the catheter pulled and pushed perfectly. Most Tuesdays, my catheter acts up, but today I am amazed and grateful, and I will praise the Lord for this. Dr. A was not present today because he is out of the country visiting family and will return next Tuesday, May 17, 2022. I had a meeting with the dietician this morning. We discussed what I like to eat, what foods to watch out for, and how to eat certain foods moderately. Also, I need to take calcium acetate when I eat because the phosphorous levels can go high when the kidney does not work correctly. Even the potassium can go too high, and when potassium goes up, it can cause the heart to work harder. We will have labs drawn on Thursday, and Dr. A will be back next Tuesday, May 17, 2022. When it comes to the dietician seeing me for my year review, I fret about what I eat or drink. I just must eat moderately at times. 

May 12 

I will not argue about how dialysis went today, even though the beginning of the treatment had a rocky start because the catheter decided not to pull very well with the arterial line. The machine would alarm when I moved the slightest of my arms, and my blood pressure went below 100/50 a couple of times, or the lower number went below 50 once. It was not easy staying still today. Also, I was not put on until at least 9:15 – 9:20 AM. I was not thrilled about being put on late today, but it must have been a busy morning for the technicians. Today was lab day, and the technicians took blood from the lines to get results within hours from the drawn specimen(s). I will discuss the results with Dr. A when he comes back Tuesday. Today I had my yearly review with the social worker, which usually takes about an hour or so. We talk about feelings, what is in my plans, and my independence at home. I find specific tests intrusive, but I understand that the techs, nurses, doctors, social worker, and dietitian is looking out for my wellbeing, and I cannot deny how they care about us dialysis patients. I muddled through without hesitating after making an oh boy face 🙄. 

May 14 

The dialysis treatment went smoothly. I could not ask for more. My blood pressure was not detecting well for a while, but in the end, it was 107/58, and I was able to walk out. My weight was 93.0 kilograms, and when I left, it was 89.0 kilograms. I could not move a lot because the machine’s alarm would go off, plus with my blood pressure, not reeding, reading low or high, the alarm would go off. I get teased about being in trouble, and of course, being in the corner in chair #4 is one heck of a corner, and I have been sitting in that chair for four years now. What a life as a dialysis patient, right? The weekend began Friday, but my dialysis weekend started after leaving the clinic and getting home. 

Garden Court 

Living at Garden Court Apartment Complex for the past eight months has been more interesting than the past few years at Burbank Plaza. With Burbank Plaza having three floors and Garden Court having seven floors, I have always thought through the years that Garden Court Apartment Complex has four times more gossip than Burbank Plaza. Never again will I say that. I keep to myself, and rarely does anyone visit me from inside the building. My best friend JM is visiting me during the week on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays unless specified differently, and my boyfriend KB and his mom on Saturdays after church unless she is on call for work. Also, my caregiver JP, comes every day except on Sunday. Sunday is my day off to veg and relax. Anyway, a lot happens here at Garden Court, but I rarely see it or hear it unless someone says something about it to me. I go downstairs to visit my friend DC (F) twice a week and wait for my rides to dialysis and back home three times a week. I see tenants come and get some fresh air, have a cigarette, and walk a dog or two. I am glad that the spot where tenants have a cigarette is by the sidewalk and further away from the building than I remember at Burbank Plaza. The smoking section at Burbank Plaza is still on the property in the back, where smoke can blow to the apartment windows and stink. I am so happy at Garden Court. It is my home now. I love it here. 

My inner planet seems to spin much better here at Garden Court. I have a friend to visit. I come and go three times a week, and it is not a feeling of dread when I come back. I come home to a kitty waiting for me at the door, or I find him in the bedroom sleeping or looking directly at me with his brown eyes. He would escape the apartment while we lived at Burbank Plaza, but at Garden Court, his running the apartment is not happening here. He has peeked his head out a little bit with his front paws at the edge of the door frame but never ventured out in the hall in the past eight months. If I get the feeling of dread, I dismiss it with a grain of salt. Since I rarely see tenants, I have no worries about what is happening here. 

With that said, about having no worries about what is happening here, I have to say that when JP went down to the office, there were tenants in the lobby, and she heard the name Kristi but did not hear what the conversation was about. She did not snoop to listen to what the conversation was about, but tenants talked about a Christy. Honestly, I was a little nervous about it at first, but then I realized that gossip is one of those things people do because they do not have anything else to do. I do not have to be a part of it. JP came back up, and her opinion was that if anyone talks about another tenant, they should do it in their apartment and not out in the public areas of the building. I agreed with her, but tenants will do what they want here, like at Burbank Plaza. There are tenants at Garden Court that do not abide by the rules of living here just as much as the apartment complex I moved from, which is Burbank Plaza. 

I do not like to speak ill of Burbank Plaza, so I will not do that. 

This past Wednesday, the community room was closed to all the tenants because of a big corporate meeting. I was told it was one packed room, too. The community room here is big enough to hold large meetings. With the community room closed, so was the office for the day, and maintenance work was also put on hold from reading the note that was passed to all the tenants.

Prayers & Praises 

Prayer Requests 

I have some prayers God knows about, and those prayers are a few. A dear Christian friend has a website where church and families can send prayer requests and praises her way, and they get emailed daily. Until I have permission to share any prayer requests on my blog, the prayers I read this morning are known to God and me at this time. May God’s will be done in the prayers I have read. 

Praises 

There is no praise(s) now. This is new.

Scripture of the Day 

Ecclesiastes 11:5 NIV 

Jeremiah 17:9 NIV 

News 

Grandmother, 86, and Retired Cop are First Victims of ‘Racist Massacre’ 

Hate, online radicalization: Buffalo shooting reflects law enforcement’s fears (msn.com) 

Thought 

The idea of racism baffles my mind, and I wonder what people think when they decide to kill a specific group of people. My heart goes out to the families of the victims. I cannot sympathize with the shooter, who happens to be an 18-year-old, but I can pray for his soul and the victims’ families. The shooter deserves to be put in jail. I understand that some states have the death penalty or life in prison for killing others, and of course, the court system is broken. My heart knows that God is our judge and will make the final decisions in our lives, yet my heart goes out to the victims of this outrageous happening, 

Blind Cat’s Precious Little Meows Have the Internet Totally Obsessed 

Thought 

I had to throw something that would make people smile. I love animals. I have a black cat myself, and my parents in New Mexico have two dogs. Before Magic Salem Victor(y), I gave two cats a home through adoption from our local shelter. Now, with Magic, I want to admit that my love for the kitty in this article amazes me with her ability to do what she does best as a blind cat. What a cutie and this kitty has the internet abuzz with fans. I am one of those fans today Way to go, Opal! 

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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