Ok, I am dealing with a lot of tears right now. I am feeling that everyone wants me in a nursing home, and I am burden to everyone. Why can’t people except me for who I am? I’m very stubborn and I am 53 years old and set in my ways. Why do people, my dad, tell me to grow up when I am now an adult myself? No one can tell me to grow up without me getting defensive! I hate it with a passion when my dad tells me to grow up. He doesn’t understand my disability and never really has.
I am having difficulty accepting what has happened to me when I got the hematoma and the blood infection in September 2022. I have been using a walker for a few years now and haven’t been able to walk a marathon for several years. It breaks my heart remembering walking across town from the south side of town to the north side of town to school the last two weeks of my senior year in high school and further to the Stop N Go store on E Milwaukee Street n my early 20s. I walked everywhere and rode the buses from time to time. My feet took me everywhere! Now my feet can go a few feet without feeling wore out and pushing a walker. I don’t like the one that is at dialysis very much. It’s not a four wheeled walker that can lock the back wheels. Ugh! I don’t feel stable with any other walker that is not a four wheeled walker. It’s frustrating.
