Oswald Chambers Devotional Shared

Lord, I will follow You, but… —Luke 9:61 

Suppose God tells you to do something that is an enormous test of your common sense, totally going against it. What will you do? Will you hold back? If you get into the habit of doing something physically, you will do it every time you are tested until you break the habit through sheer determination. And the same is true spiritually. Again and again you will come right up to what Jesus wants, but every time you will turn back at the true point of testing, until you are determined to abandon yourself to God in total surrender. Yet we tend to say, “Yes, but— suppose I do obey God in this matter, what about…?” Or we say, “Yes, I will obey God if what He asks of me doesn’t go against my common sense, but don’t ask me to take a step in the dark.” 

Jesus Christ demands the same unrestrained, adventurous spirit in those who have placed their trust in Him that the natural man exhibits. If a person is ever going to do anything worthwhile, there will be times when he must risk everything by his leap in the dark. In the spiritual realm, Jesus Christ demands that you risk everything you hold on to or believe through common sense, and leap by faith into what He says. Once you obey, you will immediately find that what He says is as solidly consistent as common sense. 

By the test of common sense, Jesus Christ’s statements may seem mad, but when you test them by the trial of faith, your findings will fill your spirit with the awesome fact that they are the very words of God. Trust completely in God, and when He brings you to a new opportunity of adventure, offering it to you, see that you take it. We act like pagans in a crisis— only one out of an entire crowd is daring enough to invest his faith in the character of God. 

Cannot Wait

A neighbor of mine, a sweetheart she is, too, told my caregiver JP that the caregiver doing my laundry was caught pocketing quarters. There were two loads, and she was seen stuffing two loads of laundry into one washer. We cannot do anything about it to prove it, but from now on, the girl is doing one load. I cannot wait to have DH back.

Hello

Okay, at this time, I am still not walking, but hopefully, with prayers and optimism, I have an appointment on February 6, 2023, four and a half days from now. I need to be appropriately fitted as my former leg brace stopped working correctly because I was hospitalized twice last year due to Covid, hematoma, and blood infection. I was not home for five months.

Right Now, Memory 

My bed is in the living room, and my caregivers use a Hoyer lift to get me into the wheelchair and downstairs to wait for my ride. The bed is for convenience at this time. It will be nice to get back on track and walk again. The last time I walked was July 18, 2022. I have missed five months of my cat Magic’s life while not home, and depression and anxiety practically hit the roof while I was at St. Elizabeth’s because certain employees told me I was not going home. My now-former doctor said I was not going home because I was not walking. I have tried to talk to the doctor about going home, but she was adamant about having twenty-four-hour care when the nurses in nursing homes need nurses and helpers. Sometimes while I was waiting for help with poopy underwear or I needed a boost, I would wait three hours for a nurse to come by—ridiculous and frustrating. At times, there was only one nurse at night, and she had twenty to thirty residents. Having only one nurse running around is not fair to the nurse, but sometimes it takes a lot to convince any other nurse to work with an incentive and plan.

Now

With the here and now, I have been on my computer all afternoon and will be returning to relax shortly. It is after 8 PM, and I have dialysis tomorrow. I am going to sign off for now and come back tomorrow.

Dialysis & Winter

With the winter season here in Wisconsin, I have to say that I have been impressed with the temperatures. Today it feels like winter for the first time this season. I did not miss dialysis today. I am at the clinic right now.

Dialysis is going smoothly since I have had my catheter replaced in October during my second hospitalization with a hematoma, blood infection from my catheter, and it was replaced six times by the time in October.

I have been home since a week before Thanksgiving and things haven’t changed much yet. I have a new doctor, I have seen my new CP specialist, I am getting a power chair, a new brace is coming up in the near future, and my arthritis seems to haunt me once in a while. Today it’s in my left arm. Ankles, and wrists, elbows, and shoulders. My knees have an ache from time to time.

with two hours and nine minutes left to dialyze, I am having a good treatment. The catheter is doing a great job today.

The Other Day

Last week has turned into trust issues. Being called something I am not without an explanation to resolve the problem was indeed a major problem with me. The trust with a couple of people in the company I am using because my caregiver DH is out recovering from surgery. I had deleted my latest post for personal reasons. I was locked out of my diary at DD for a few hours because of a word. I was called the R word by a black woman who didn’t understand at the time I was making small talk. The R word hurt my feelings and upon my apology to the girls, I haven’t received any apology back. As soon as I can, I am going to dump this company and move on. So anyone doesn’t know, the R word was not ‘retard’ — that word hurts me, too.

Still Home

I have been home since a week before Thanksgiving 2022. Now it is going to be 2023 in a few days from now. I know I haven’t written much lately—since I have been back actually.I guess this can be the only post since November. I have no reason to not be writing before today. I have been dealing with anxiety and depression—no thanks to Dr. H who happens to be not my doctor anymore period. I dumped her like a hot baked potato when I learned that I was to stay in the nursing home.

MAGIC

Magic

Let me take a moment to talk about Magic Kitty. Spending time with him is very important to me. Being in the hospital and two different nursing homes, I was gone for five months. I missed his third birthday. I missed my baby boy who has fur. Missing five months of Magic’s life, he was being taken care of by JM and JP. Although the picture is older, my Magic kitty has filled out and is now sixteen pounds. Even at age three, he is very

Life Has Been Hard Lately

I have been in the hospItal in July due to covid, then got home. Two weeks later, due to a fall, i learned that i had a hematoma near the hip that cannot be proven from the nursing home i wad in. Evansville manor. I will not go back there. Now Im at St. Elizabeth In Janesville, Wisconsin with a plan in place to go home by the 8th of November. i miss my cat Magic. i have done a lot of crying because I have been dealing with anxiety and depression. Nursing homes are okay, but when they do understand me, there’s going to be problems.

Taking it Easy Today

Hello and good afternoon. Sleeping in a bed was okay, and I did sleep in my bedroom all night. Because cats are nocturnal, my Magic kitty was up all night playing because when DH cleaned my toilet, Magic had put a toy in the toilet bowl sometime during the night while I was sleeping. Silly cat! I woke up with my back aching, and my arms were sore. Waking up at 5:30 AM and having a challenge getting off the bed, I got where I wanted to be—the living room. I dealt with aches and pains in my back from 5:30 AM to 10:30 AM, taking acetaminophen 650mg at 10 AM when DH got here to work for me for a little while. I did not want to have a bath today because of the pain I was dealing with for a time. I wanted to sit and be lazy all day. This is my only entry of the day. 

With DH leaving around 12:30 PM through 1:00 PM, I am taking advantage of the lazy day. I have DH for backup with JP staying home since she is ill. No big deal. JP does not want me sick, too, just in case it happens to be Covid. I am feeling dry in some areas of my body and having a dry cough and allergies being a pain; I am keeping to myself and praying for JP to feel better soon and in God’s will. She is unsure if she has Covid, and her doctor did not order a test to see because she stays home and rests each day. She is missed, but when someone is sick, I have to be extremely careful not to get sick, too. 

I still have to get my nails for July, but I think it will not happen. It is okay, but I hope my nails do not break in the meantime; waiting for August after August 3, 2022, when I get my Social Security and SSI deposits. My nails are growing and showing signs of good wear, and they are getting long—too long, but managing with them. I find it difficult to open a soda can right now 😃. 

I am going to rest now, watch TV, and read a little throughout the day. I will be back tomorrow or later in the weekend—time to relax and get comfortable. 

July 14, 2022- Dialysis Update

Dialysis went great today. It was perfect. I sat and relaxed while sitting there reading and observing my surroundings. I was quiet again today, keeping to myself, but I did say hello to my dialysis patient neighbor. I did not strike up a conversation with other patients today, either. Since dialysis was going very well, I wanted to remain calm and quiet. I cannot wait for the new clinic because, from what I heard, there will be no more pods. I must take it one day at a time, and the new clinic will come whether I see it or not, but that is one of my goals—God willing. 

There was no problem with the catheter from the start to the end of treatment. My blood pressure registered low sometimes, but the cuff needed to be adjusted or changed from the arm to the leg. While dialyzing, I read and relaxed for the entire three hours. It pays to be calm. Dialysis goes smoothly. 

I got into my chair, hooked up at 8:30 AM, and got out of the clinic by 11:30 AM. I called Lavigne Bus Company thirty minutes before I was finished dialyzing and learned that my ride with them would not come until 12:45 PM. I would not have minded if I could not have gotten a ride at 11:30 AM, but DH came and took me home and did some work for me.