Today, December 14, 2023

Once again, I have been sporadic in writing in my diary here at DD. It has been quiet and less in my writing here at DD. Do I have a lot to say for some reason. Being here at DD for several years now proves that I do not have a lot to write about sometimes, now, this day. It’s late and I have one more treatment for the week, and next week, I have treatment on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, then it’ll be Christmas Eve on Sunday, and have dialysis on Sunday, December 24, 2023, because Monday, December 25th is Christmas Day, and the dialysis center is closed that day. It’ll be nice to be back on my regular schedule after January 2nd, 2024.

Anyway, today was a busy day. I had a counseling appointment at 9 AM and my nails were done up nicely at 2 PM. It was my first counseling appointment with D at Mercy Options. I believe it went ok establishing common ground with D (female). She asked questions to establish an idea of what needs to be worked on on my life, what medication I need for my anxiety. JP embarrassed more than once, and my thought about what she thought I needed to work on was nothing I actually expected. I just wished that she would have been a little quieter at times because she was talking more than I wanted to her to say anything.

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March 16 — Weepy

Today I am feeling like I need to cry, and I do not have an explanation for it. Is it just I need to cry from being frustrated for so long? I cannot find an explanation for it today. Ugh! Hmm, I just cannot find an explanation whatsoever. What a find, huh? Anyway, for the first time in a while, a few days, I have found the time to write my thoughts since the 11th of March. Could that be the reason I want to cry right now? No! I just feel weepy today — for no reason at all. I will be okay tomorrow for sure.

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Waited For this Weekend

Ahh, the weekend has finally arrived…woohoo! I cannot ask for me at this point. I will return to dialysis on Monday morning at 11:45 AM or shortly before. This week I got on a little early and left a little early depending on my medical ride arrival. Today, I did not get home until 3:20 PM because dispatch overbooked the workers at 3 PM! No big deal, but honestly, one of the dispatchers was not paying attention to the computer screen today. Hopefully next week is better for Henry, the dispatcher who is still in training mode. Jack, the dispatcher is not working right now for some reason. Will Jack be back? No one knows at this point. Even one of the drivers, Andre, is on medical leave! You Buy We Fly has been a good medical ride company for me, but today has been questionable, and the important thing is, at least, I got home in one piece with all my attachments included, lol. I did not fret or complain out loud, but inside, you can never know how I felt–annoyed to the max because I was ready to be at home in bed to read and watch TV. This is one weekend I have been looking forward to in a long time. I finally feel I have my life back, people!

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Life Goes On

From March 11-14, 2024, I have been busy with life for once in a long time. I had an appointment this afternoon with my nails but it got bumped until the 19th, which is okay. It was raining out all day today anyway, and I stayed home to watch TV and read my next Midsomer Murder book by Caroline Graham titled Faithful Unto Death. I am in chapter 8 now of 11 chapters. Almost done! I love to read and have been busy reading these days. I love escaping to other places from the real world I live in in Janesville, Wisconsin. That’s my life right now. So, right now I am escaping to England villages like Badger’s Drift—The Killings of Badger’s Drift was the first book and story on TV. 

When I was learning about a hospital that does kidney transplantation in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, I was hearing the word freighter not Froedtert, lol. Hmm? That was a game changer for me, lol. Kind of embarrassing to be honest here. Anyway, I called the transplant department there today and got set up with them and got my account setup with them. Now I have my first virtual appointment on May 25, 2024. A little nerving.

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Last Entry of the Day

I have to admit that today has not been a bad day for a first day of the ‘work’ week. Not bad at all! Dialysis went well for the most part. The machine alarmed a couple of times for the fact the arterial line got kinked and the bi-carb bag has an issue, and my lines work better in reverse where blue is on red and red is on blue instead on straight, red on rex, and blue on blue with my seventh catheter.

7th Catheter?

Yes, 7th catheter is being used now. Catheters wear out eventually and a couple of them have had short lives for some reason unknown forces occurred. I am using a catheter because my veins are now too small to be used for a fistula and graft. We have had two grafts put in—one in each arm, but my left one quit working 9 months after it was placed due to clotting issues and the right one never used because it clotted within five days of placement. My blood clots easily. Blood clotting for good reason is fine, but for grafts and fistula purposes is not good. That is why I am using a catheter instead of using a graft or fistula.

As far as a fistula goes, one was made in my left arm, but it never matured. It lasted only a couple of months and never was used. It was a weak fistula and it clotted fast leaving me to take warfarin to fix the clot for 6 months. I hated taken that warfarin. It helps in areas, but it can be a problem in other area. When it comes to chemicals in the body, my body, I am kind of hesitant and wary of taking prescribed medications to help me. I was on Seroquel for a month, and I gained 20 pounds in and a one month that took a year to lose. Now, off Seroquel and on a low dose of Prozac, I am now 180-187 pounds and stable again. Gaining my 20 pounds back was a downer and disappointing aspect of my life. It was not water weight I gained back and for a while, dialysis techs and I did not know if I gained weight due to water or medication. It was very frustrating for a month. Anyway, that is why I use a catheter and have for the past 6 years on hemodialysis.

I saw Dr. Anjum today as I do every Monday unless it is the 5th Monday of the month or he’s on vacation with family or visiting India. My blood is getting cleaned well doing hemodialysis even though I don’t have a fistula or graft like most people. A lot of patients use catheters as well due to age and other health issues. It’s amazing what dialysis can do for people with kidney disease and kidney health. Although I have had my kidney transplant for 31 years before being attacked by kidney disease, my kidney can still produce a little urine, but when your kidney’s function goes past 4 in GFR (Glomerular Function Rate). This part of the kidney’s function tells nephrology doctors how well or not well the kidney is functioning in a patient. My transplanted kidney got attacked by a disease called glomerulonephritis. This kidney disease is a chronic disease and it can be treated with medication for a while and I did take special medication for 3 years before my kidney said it had enough. By then my kidney was 72 years old and the kidney was beginning to have problems in 2016 to 2019. My donor was my mom!

Don’t worry, my mom is still alive. She will be 80 years old this year. Yes, my mom was 44 going on 45 when she became my first donor. First donor? Yes, I am looking for a second donor. I prefer a living donor over a cadaver kidney.

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Home

Now home from the clinic, I saw Dr. Anjum before my 15 minute mark was done for the day. Yep, got weighed out and left the clinic with my ride already waiting patiently for me to come down. You Buy WeFly’s driver Amirius picked me up this afternoon at 2:50 PM and got downstairs by 2:47 PM and went to the driver’s side to tell him I was out. 

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Dialysis Update

7th Catheter?

Yes, 7th catheter is being used now. Catheters wear out eventually and a couple of them have had short lives for some reason unknown forces occurred. I am using a catheter because my veins are now too small to be used for a fistula and graft. We have had two grafts put in—one in each arm, but my left one quit working 9 months after it was placed due to clotting issues and the right one never used because it clotted within five days of placement. My blood clots easily. Blood clotting for good reason is fine, but for grafts and fistula purposes is not good. That is why I am using a catheter instead of using a graft or fistula.

As far as a fistula goes, one was made in my left arm, but it never matured. It lasted only a couple of months and never was used. It was a weak fistula and it clotted fast leaving me to take warfarin to fix the clot for 6 months. I hated taken that warfarin. It helps in areas, but it can be a problem in other area. When it comes to chemicals in the body, my body, I am kind of hesitant and wary of taking prescribed medications to help me. I was on Seroquel for a month, and I gained 20 pounds in and a one month that took a year to lose. Now, off Seroquel and on a low dose of Prozac, I am now 180-187 pounds and stable again. Gaining my 20 pounds back was a downer and disappointing aspect of my life. It was not water weight I gained back and for a while, dialysis techs and I did not know if I gained weight due to water or medication. It was very frustrating for a month. Anyway, that is why I use a catheter and have for the past 6 years on hemodialysis.

I saw Dr. Anjum today as I do every Monday unless it is the 5th Monday of the month or he’s on vacation with family or visiting India. My blood is getting cleaned well doing hemodialysis even though I don’t have a fistula or graft like most people. A lot of patients use catheters as well due to age and other health issues. It’s amazing what dialysis can do for people with kidney disease and kidney health. Although I have had my kidney transplant for 31 years before being attacked by kidney disease, my kidney can still produce a little urine, but when your kidney’s function goes past 4 in GFR (Glomerular Function Rate). This part of the kidney’s function tells nephrology doctors how well or not well the kidney is functioning in a patient. My transplanted kidney got attacked by a disease called glomerulonephritis. This kidney disease is a chronic disease and it can be treated with medication for a while and I did take special medication for 3 years before my kidney said it had enough. By then my kidney was 72 years old and the kidney was beginning to have problems in 2016 to 2019. My donor was my mom!

Don’t worry, my mom is still alive. She will be 80 years old this year. Yes, my mom was 44 going on 45 when she became my first donor. First donor? Yes, I am looking for a second donor. I prefer a living donor over a cadaver kidney.

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A New Day & A New Week of ‘Work’

A new day has begun at 5:45 AM for me in order to have a little time for myself before Debbie got here at 8:30 AM to get me ready and out the door by 11 AM for dialysis as today begins the first day of treatment for the week. Yippee, dialysis treatment begins today—ok—for a Monday morning. Our nurse Stephanie is a technician again today, and she leaves for home at the end of the month. She has been a nurse here for two years now, and that is record run for our traveling nurses.

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Another Freaking Meltdown!!

Oh, crap, I have to wait until morning to get my phone off the floor now. I had a damn meltdown about it over the phone/iPad airwaves with Jackie on the other end because I need my phone off the floor. Instead of Jackie helping me through this meltdown, I get told I will be fine and she was asleep and resting because she has had a headache for two days! Well, fuck her headache in my opinion, and thanks for not helping me calm down, bitch was my thought at that moment! I was not thinking about your headache as I was having my meltdown. Thank you for not telling me until now about your headache. You didn’t help me and I am at a total loss of trust now.

Yeah, my meltdown may have ended hours ago now, but the feeling of trust has been misplaced again that talking to my did not happen because talking on the speaker phone can’t happen anymore because she can’t hear very well. Yeah, she has lost her hearing a little bit at 80 years old. I wanted to talk to her but I can’t because my phone is on the bedroom floor until Deb gets here about 8 AM—shucks! Oh well! I am not in the best of moods today, and I needed to talk to my mom about it badly. Ugh! Not my day today! Ugh!

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My Day

Happy Sabbath and what a happy Saturday for me! Deb has been here and gone by 9:05 AM so she could help her husband and son get ready to go to men’s retreat some men from church were going to. Yay for Deb to have a break from the guys in her life! WTG, Debbie! A day and a half to herself! Her son will have a piano audition tomorrow for college scholarship. Woohoo, Tyler!

For this Saturday, I have been reading and watching TV, and relaxing in bed. I did not go anywhere except to a Midsomer village in a story for a while. It has been a great, lazy, relaxing day all day long. I enjoy my Midsomer village days. It helps me escape the hectic days of real life for a few hours of my day. I need to escape the real world once in a while around here. No need to go any further, doi? My day is about over for the day anyway.

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Dialysis Update for Friday, March 8, 2024

Dialysis Update

For the last treatment of the week, dialysis went smoothly the entire treatment. Once again, Pod #5 was in Chair #10. They were short technicians and a nurse again today, and it sounded like the Saturday shift was going to be the same. So   than meant Pods 1through 4 were going to have patients. I like #10 chair, too. I sat quietly and read the entire time while my neighbors napped or watched TV. With the Killings of Badgers Drift read and returned to the library yesterday, I am now reading Faithful unto Death which is another Midsomer Murders mystery and series. Doing great in the reading department as well.  Thanks to having Tiffany the technician one morning, I sat in Pod #4 in Chair #15 which happens to be an okay spot to sit once in a while. Pod #5, Chairs #17, 18, 19, and 20 are good chairs, too, but Chair, #18 is usually my main chair, though. I am willing to share, though! The places I sit at are treats for me as well from routine to whom I have as my technician of the day. I do have to admit that having Tiffany, Sam, Jon without an H, lol, and Christina are my favorite techies. Christina has moved on to Fresenius dialysis center instead of Mercy dialysis center. Aww, shucks, smile. Oh well. Fresenius’ gang and Mercy’s big loss. This week, Mercy’s technicians and nurses were shorthanded all week long that patients sat elsewhere in the clinic rather than sitting I your usual spot getting treatment. Mercy needs to make it better soon or I will go elsewhere after all. Yay, the weekend has arrived and do not have to at dialysis until Monday now! Woohoo!! Relaxation time until Monday! YIPPEE!! Until next week, March 11, 2024! Woohoo, yay!

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