Lately
Living at Garden Court has been a little more difficult to contend with. I have had my down days lately and those days were quite a few a week ago. My want to leave this place with everyone living here so far behind without looking back at the years I have lived here going on four years in October. I cannot believe I have been here that long while for half a year I was in nursing homes recovering from illnesses that put me there wanting to be home with Magic. Remember that Millie did not come into our lives until December 9, 2023, to be a companion and sister to my often-unruly boy cat Magic. Getting a companion for him, a sister, was the best for him. He has less unruly moments in his life now. Good boy my Magic kitty going to be 4 years old in May. Millie will be 1 year old in July or August now. She is 9 months old this month we call April 2024. Debbie is vacuuming the bedroom. I have dialysis today.
Lately, during my meltdowns, having one over the weekend on Sunday, I must admit that I feel I am a burden on everyone, and I do things that turn people away from me. My dad’s words that hurt me the most are replayed repeatedly my memory from long ago with his angry voice. Those days are awful days in my memory bank of life. Sad, I know, as I cry from memories of my dad’s meanness towards me as a child, teenager, young adult, and at my age of 53 today, soon to be 54 on July 3rd and that is a dialysis day for e God willing of course. With the stress I have been dealing with lately, I am surprised my heart has withheld all of it this far without problems. Oh oh, I hear a siren outside as a fire truck went by nearby. Deb is out here with vacuum nn to be 54 July 3rd in three months now. Millie has the same birthday month as me—woohoo!Debbie is out here in the living room with the vacuum now. It is a little too noisy for my ears this morning. I guess today vacuum cat fur from the floor according to Deb. It is okay I guess. My floors need to be vacuumed more than once a week with my babies and food crumbs anyway. It works for me!
Well, it is almost time for me to go wait for my ride downstairs as I have dialysis today. Yeah, I wrote a lot as my words are going across a ot today. I have days like this often during the week and I enjoy my time at the kitchen .table most days now that the weather us a little warmer this spring. Yep, spring in Wisconsin has finally come. With the storm we have had last night, the one I did not hear all night because I was engrossed in my reading and gaming, has cooled things down to 60 degrees and the weather is to get cooler yet tonight. Not really looking forward to it that much, but at least I have tv, books to read, and the internet, my journal, and diary at Dear Diary we pretty call a blog these days. My babies are happy to have the place to themselves for at least four hours until 3 PM when I finally get home for the rest of the day, no dialysis tomorrow, and back to dialysis Friday before my weekend begins again. I think my week is going by kind of fast this week. It is already ‘hump day’ Wednesday already. Even my meltdown did not slow down my days this week.
