Ksmiley's Diary & Blog

As for the rest of the day, today is relatively an afternoon and evening to enjoy. With one more treatment left in the week, I am taking advantage of my time at home journaling and playing games on my phone or iPad while relaxing and watching television.

I have been watching The Grimm TV series for the past few days. Intriguing, somewhat scary, and slightly mysterious, I find The Grimm TV series fun. I am even looking forward to my dialysis weekend. My Sunday is going to be a lazy-like day for me.

I am having some restlessness right now, so I believe it will be a rough night and day tomorrow. I have a rough time sometimes when it comes to dealing with turmoil at times. I still love life.

JP stayed until 3:15 PM, when JM arrived after work at 2:20 PM and left. JM came and went, and it felt like she had just gotten to my place to visit with me. The hour flew by as if it did not exist. I turned the TV off to communicate with my workers without interruptions. It felt good to concentrate on communicating without the TV for once. Although workers from the company did not make it, I must admit it has been a great day. I have been frustrated lately because DH has not been here for a while and will be gone for a little longer due to having chemotherapy starting March 16, 2023. It can be nerve-wracking and a lot of tears.

I have talked to one of the workers who has been coming in, and the three girls have been sick with a virus for the past thirty-six hours. A client had gotten ill and passed it on to the three workers coming into my home. I did not believe it initially, but hearing from one of horse’s mouth proved it had happened. I thought MR was pulling her workers out of my care maliciously. When SP explained the illness to me via Facebook messenger, I was convinced of the truth without a problem. I am still frustrated to a point because I had trusted two companies recently and had to let go/fire the girls before MR’s company came into work with me while DH was on medical leave. Grrr.

Good morning. Another day of no one coming over until 9:30 AM. JP got a text from MR without texting me, too. Grrr. Oh well. JP will be here shortly to do what she needs to get things done and go from there. Grrr. Her workers are sick–with what? I am suspicious now because one of her girls was ill Monday and worked briefly yesterday until I left for dialysis. Another day of no workers? Something makes me wonder if this MR is running a legitimate company. I do not think so now. Hmmm? Do I have to get a hold of the Better Business Bureau again? Maybe–.have to wait and see. I am, excuse my mouth, pissed off.

Dialysis went well today. We had no problems whatsoever. I got on the machine by 10 AM, out of the clinic by 1 PM, and home by 1:10 PM. I got lunch from Papa John’s and went back to bed for the rest of the evening; I watched Grimm until I fell asleep.

Today in the morning began the day off to a rough start. My caregiver was scheduled to come but never showed up. I had to call to find out that the girl was not coming because she was not feeling well. Oh my goodness gracious—that made me very unhappy. My caregiver JP was livid. The belief is that the hired worker got sick after eating something. I believe her, but JP does not. If My Choice Wisconsin did schedule the girl with someone else, why could they not send either SP or S? Why would the company lie to me? If they did, it is on their conscience, not mine today. If I find a different truth, I will be disappointed and hurt. Why was JP livid? My phone call at 8:05 AM awakened her. She said I pissed in her Cheerios and said something a certain way that made me cry.
I have not been advocating for myself because I am not in the position to do so now and frustrated with being bedridden. I have not walked since last July 2022 because of brace issues and having appointments regarding Botox. My right foot and an upcoming appointment—a mammogram because JP freaked out finding a lump, and I have a history of cysts in my breasts and a transplanted kidney after thirty-six years this month on March 12, 2023. My schedule for my mammogram is February 28, after dialysis. My friend DH having a mastectomy in January has gotten me freaked out to the point of fear. Good grief, JP. I am so not thrilled. I have anxiety. Thanks!
JP got here at 11 AM. she got me changed and cleaned up with a small bath, a new t-shirt, and got me lunch and snacks. My caregiver DH dropped by from 12:30 PM until almost 3 PM. JP and DH left together, leaving me for the rest of the day. It was nice seeing DH, but she will return to work soon. She begins chemotherapy on March 16 for three months. I hope this treatment will help her in the long run because her cancer is aggressive. Her health is in God’s hands.

My dialysis went well. I did some journaling today and was home by 1 PM. Someone’s granddaughter was selling Girl Scout cookies, and when I got off work, she bought me indifferent boxes of cookies. I got peanut butter sandwich cookies along with toasty yay’s. Yum—tasty snacks.

I got to see my boyfriend and his Mom this afternoon. We visited for a while. I wish we got into the study a little, but sometimes it does not happen. Today was one of those no worship days, I guess. I am a little disappointed, and I believe I will have to do worship by myself again. KB and TB do not make it every week anymore. There is another church member, and please bless DL, who is an elderly gentleman who is in a nursing home right now. TB and KB visit him every other weekend — Sabbath afternoon after church.

Since my dialysis weekend started, I watched CSI: Crime Scene Investigation after everyone left.

 G

Grammarly

Regarding grammar and sentence structure, I write everything I want to say and get across to others, and I utilize Grammarly to put my words in proper sentence structure. You must pay $30 monthly for its premium services, but the subscription is worth it. I am not made of money. I write a lot in a journal.

One More Thing

As I sit here, in my case, bedridden for a little longer, I have been thinking about some things. I will share my thoughts tomorrow. It is time for me to relax for the evening and get ready to sleep for the night.

Spending Time Journaling

Today with dialysis going well, I am being quiet and journaling a bit while I on the machine for under an hour. They got me on early today. Catheter is working well today. I enjoy writing in a diary on a regular basis again. When I was in the hospital and nursing homes last year twice, I could not write much. I was dealing with my medical needs the best I could emotionally because I was dealing with Covid the first time and a hematoma and blood infection, and potassium poisoning due to it being high in breakfast potatoes at the hospital. I was being dialyzed for twelve hours one evening while in my room. The dialysis nurse was in my room until 1 AM the following morning, and it was a surprise to me. I remember the machine coming in with the nurse and then he told me what was going on. I hope it does not happen again. That was scary with my blood infection, hematoma that Medicare was not going to be pay for because they did not believe I had one. That did not make me very happy, and JM wrote to them it was true and they made sure with a CT scan. I thought it, my right hip, was broken and  was very painful to sit and stand. Also, my right brace became unwearable and Mercy Orthopedic said that I can not get another brace until October 2023. We ended up going a different route by seeing a CP specialist at UW-Hospital and Clinics in Middleton, Wisconsin beginning February 2023 in the sixth.  Nice gal who knows her profession.I saw a specialist foe a brace fitting, but I have to wait right now. I regular brace will not do ori will have a problem with the ankle, and of course, I freaked out and got upset and scared. Since February 28, 2023, I have one treatment of Botox—four vials. I believe that it is the ankle. We will find out soon enough. My next appointment is March 20^th with the CP specialist and the brace people on the same day. I am not looking forward to a long day, but it has to be done. I hope my insurances do not have a problem with that. With medicare and Medicaid, I am not sure. We will find out. 

Dialysis Update

Dialysis today was better than Tuesday. The machine beeped when I bent my neck too far down.I was able to finish treatment by 1 PM. I think my catheter was probably positional troubled Tuesday or I was anxious about my appointment that afternoon with my CP specialist. After my appointment, I had to wait for a half an hour because a couple of vans for Specialized Transit were down and my ride came from Beloit, Wisconsin to pick me up.oh well, I got home safe. 

Came Up With “Grumpy Pants” 

Remember the patient I talked about in a entry not that long ago? She always comes to dialysis acting like she does not to be there, it is every time I see her. She is the one who does not speak to me when I say hello to her. If that is the way she treats people, she does not need a hello from me anymore. While I was waiting for a tech to take me to the dialysis room, I saw her and her husband coming in the parking lot I said out loud, “Here comes grumpy pants.” A patient waiting for his turn chuckled. After today, I am not saying anything more. I am not speaking to her anymore from now on.

As Dialysis Goes On

When it comes to dialysis, everyone comes from different walks of life. Not everyone is happy going to dialysis to sit in a chair for hours. It is a bite in their day. I remember when I first started and was on for four hours from 9 AM to 1 PM. I am glad that I am down to two hours and forty-five minutes thanks to Dr. A. Now I have Dr. S. I understand the one patient not wanting to be at dialysis and she is not a morning person, but her grumpiness and attitude toward me causes to be hurt. I am hurt enough to cry and scream. I do not dread going to dialysis to get my blood clean, but I dread seeing her lovely, grumpy face. I have heard her be grumpy to her husband more than once and it makes me wonder if she does not like herself. Why her kidneys stopped working correctly is a mystery only she knows. I know she has dealt with cancer because of conversations with other patients. I am glad she is in a different pod from mine.