Not Always A Typical Day

Summer Has Arrived 

Summer has indeed arrived in Wisconsin. It was already in the eighties by the time I left for dialysis treatment. Warm and muggy do not go well with me. I feel sluggish and yucky if out in the heat too long. Y Since I do not move very fast some days, I would prefer to be in where there is air conditioning. With my A/C running at home, getting home to enjoy the coolness of my living room pleases me more than being out in the heat and hot. After getting home and cooled off, the A/C was turned off and my oscillating fan was turned on. I got cold with the A/C running. Summer has arrived in Wisconsin without fail—heat and all. 

My Day Today 

With dialysis done and I am home after 12:15 PM, I had help getting to my apartment and was greeted by a black cat who was so happy to see me home. Also, my best friend JM was already here waiting for me to come home. JM comes over on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. She is off on Tuesdays, so she can be here as soon as I get home or meet me at my apartment. Because dialysis can make me feel weak for a little while, I do want I can for myself when I am home with no company, but today was not so bad. JM helped me make my lunch of chicken dino nuggets and a twice-baked potato. It was delicious and filling. Having chicken nuggets shapes that are dinosaurs this week has been fitting as I saw Jurassic World Dominion yesterday afternoon. I will get them again. They are very good and tasty. Before JM left for the afternoon, we watched an episode of Murder, She Wrote on the Roku channel together. Because I have watched all the episodes in the twelve seasons, I had to keep myself from saying anything about what happens on the show. After the show was over, JM left for the day, and I was alone with a black cat defending for myself the rest of the afternoon and evening. I watched more Murder, She Wrote, then began watching Matlock on Pluto. 

Jurassic World Dominion

As I have wanted to see, I got to see the latest Jurassic movie at a nearby movie theater thanks to my caregiver, JP. We went to see Jurassic World Dominion. JP, her ten-year-old niece A, and I went to the movie theater to watch the movie. Although I have not seen all the Jurassic Park/World movies, I have watched all the trailers. Since I rarely get out, other than going to dialysis three times a week or seeing my friend DC, I occasionally enjoy a good movie in theaters. It has been over a year since I have been to a movie – since DKF left. After seeing Jurassic World Dominion, I now feel I need to watch all the films in the Jurassic franchise. If you want to be scared and have some action and excitement about what will happen or happen next, Jurassic World Dominion is one of several great summer movies. 

 I am glad I had a chance to get to the movies again. I rarely get out these days, so the film was a big treat for me. I enjoyed myself. 

Regarding characters (actors and actresses) in the movie, four of them were part of the reason I wanted to see the latest Jurassic Park movie. Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and BD Wong being in the first Jurassic Park movie made the latest movie exciting and worthwhile in my way of thinking. Also, the bad guys and gals made the movie good as well, and to be honest; I did not recognize any of them from movies or TV shows. Sam, Laura, and Jeff saved the day of dinosaur fighting and killing. How much more can you ask for? Nothing more except make another Jurassic movie, but I have heard that this is the franchise’s last movie if I heard correctly. I am not 100% sure, though. 

When it came to Jurassic World Dominion or any of the movies, I have to say that computer graphic images (CGI) were excellent. The idea of these giant dinosaurs worldwide and among humans seemed natural. What computers can do these days in movies amazes me. I have been a computer user for several years but not in computer graphics imaging; I am in awe over the concept. The idea of the dinosaurs among humans looked even though the computer graphic was accurate enough for me. Computers can make a movie these days seem so real that you are a part of the movie nowadays. I know I repeated myself. Sorry about that. 

What did I like about the movie? I enjoyed seeing how humans lived among the dinosaurs – vice versa. WOW! Computer graphic Imagining can be fantastic in films like the Jurassic franchise – since the 1990s to beat the computer era of its time. Now I want to see all Jurassic Park movies from one to Jurassic World Dominion. 

What did I not like about the movie? To be honest, I do not have any dislike of the movie. I guess, when someone has a hidden agenda to do something that can affect the lives of others and the dinosaurs in any movie and not just this movie, I do not like seeing conflict. I find it sad when characters get killed. Now, if we were living among dinosaurs in real life, I do not know how I would feel, react, or do. I asked a nurse at dialysis what she would feel about dinosaurs in our world, and she told me no way, I would be eaten. Being eaten would be a fear of mine as well. I also believe that “the bad” guy who had anything to do with doing bad would be considered evil or mean in my way of thinking. 

I had a great afternoon at the movies. 

Dialysis Update and A Relaxing Day

On May 28, 2022, I remember my catheter not wanting to work properly, causing dialysis to not happen that day. Then last week, technicians were doing their best to get extra fluid out of me. By Saturday, May 4, 2022, I was a little bit below my dry weight 90.5 kilograms. I will not argue or deny how hard the technicians worked me. This week has proven to start out aa little rocky. I was able to dialyze, but when my blood pressure ran low, the machine had to be put in minimum, and I was hoping that was not necessary today. Dialysis went smoothly from the start when I was hooked up. The catheter did not want the arterial line to pull at first, but the technician taking care of me had flushed the line and the line finally pulled. I was able to sit and relax and read for a while. Waiting to talk to Dr. A about last week was hard as I saw him go from patient to another before getting to me, so when he finally came to me, I was ready to talk to him. 

I told Dr. A what happened last week, and he told me that he understood that I could not dialyze that Saturday, and that happens at times. I told him that I was 6.1 kilograms coming into the clinic last Tuesday. I was disgusted with myself, and the emotion of the day ran into the weekend—as if I did not care. I did care, I was frustrated about it all and the weather did not help me. He understood and told me that he was not worried about me in the circumstances I had last week. He said that I left Saturday with my weight being below my dry weight, and he was not worried. He also said that I am doing fine and will keep my dry weight at 90.5 kilograms. He then left me and went on his way. He sees all his other patients before seeing me. Am I the best for last? Hmmm? Not always, no. 

Dialysis went smoothly for the three hours, except for the last ten to twenty minutes. I began cramping in my left leg and foot. The technician put the machine in minimum leaving me at 2.62 kilograms out of 3.0 kilograms. When I was taken off and the last blood pressure reading was 104/??, so I did not need to have fluid added in my lines to put it up a bit. I was able to walk out to the scale and get a weight. I left at 91.4 kilograms. 

Dialysis went smoothly from beginning to end—three hours of getting toxins and fluid out. Within the last ten minutes of dialysis, I started to have some eye trouble which usually means that dizziness is coming. I asked to be put the machine on minimum. I got close to 3.0 kilograms, and when weighed, using a wheelchair today, I was below my dry weight a little bit. I will not argue with how dialysis went for the day. 

Treatment on Saturdays is the end of the week for me, and I have two days once I leave the clinic after dialysis. Sitting for three hours was not too bad today, even when my blood pressure went below 100/50 in the last twenty minutes of treatment. The machine was put on minimum at 2.6 kilograms out of 3.2 kilograms.I went into the clinic at 93.9 kilograms and left at 91.4 kilograms. For the first time in a while, I was able to walk out of the clinic to the scale and before I hit the lobby, I sat down on my walker to wheel myself to a chair and call my ride to take me home. I walked out to the vehicle with someone watching me and got in the vehicle with help and no problem. I have difficulty getting into high vehicles, but with help and patience from my driver, I got in without too much worry and anxiety. It pays to have a caregiver at my side from time to time and a company I do not know yet. 

Today I talked to a nurse at the clinic openly about one of the patients. Trying to not throw him under the bus, I am very observant, so seeing this patient not listening or caring that he is at the clinic, I wonder what his walk of life was before he started dialysis. I have been dialyzing for four years and two months now, that I have been coming and going to the clinic because I want to live with not being ready for a second transplant currently. I have my reasons and they are personal and medically related to the latest pandemic—Covid-19. I am not impressed that everyone who has kidney disease must be vaccinated, and that is a choice the patients should make, not medical advisors. Then again, I see the side of medical advisors as well. To be put on the list, you need to be vaccinated to be protected from Covid, and this is where I disagree and feel it is a patient’s right or not to be vaccinated. Anyway, I went off the subject and need to get back to the subject at hand – the patient. Every now and then, when sitting in chair 1 or 2, seeing how the patient in chair 5 does not care if he crosses his leg and his blood pressure reads low, he does not want his feet being put up. He allows the nurse and technician to put his feet up, but he wants them down within minutes. He complains by moaning and groaning noticeably loud to get the attention of the nurse and technician. He always asks, ‘can I put my legs down?’ This patient is 80-something years old, and his actions are child-like. Okay, I get it that we dialysis patients are from different walks of life and do not know this patient’s life and history, but being obvious and noticeable, I find that hard to swallow. The alternative of not being dialyzed is death, and this patient comes because he must stay alive. The nurse I spoke openly about this patient through what I see, and she understood where I was coming from when I said the patient acts, he does not want to be here but needs to be here to stay alive. I feel I should not have spoken so openly. 

With it being Sunday, June 12, 2022, I am chilling, relaxing, reading, watching Murder, She Wrote on the Roku channel, and enjoying my day that is my day with no company. I am still reading Evidence of Love. I am more than halfway through the book. Because I love mystery and stories that are based on true stories are my favorite books to read, the story is good. It is an enjoyable read. From watching the miniseries and movie a couple of weeks ago, I cannot believe that Candy Montgomery got acquitted for killing Betty Gore. From the movie I saw that Betty Gore brought out the axe. Did she start it? That is properly why Candy was acquitted. I have also played Monopoly Solitaire as well for a couple of hours. 

My Day Will Begin Shortly

A new day is about to begin. I have dialysis this morning from 9 AM to noon or 9:15 AM – 12:15 PM. It depends on when I get in my chair of the day. More dialysis details later today or tomorrow. Anyway, I love having an hour to myself before JP, my caregiver comes. Today, unless her niece changed her mind since yesterday will be with her. She is ten years old and hanging out with her aunt today and weekend. Upon meeting JP’s niece yesterday, she is a good girl. My friend DC is gone for the weekend and will be going somewhere today with her mom while I will be getting home from dialysis and probably having some lunch before my friend JM comes over after church around 2 PM or so. I get so hungry after dialysis. I know I did on Thursday and ate my melt from Culver’s and a couple of onion rings, fries, and cheese curds. Saved the rest for yesterday’s lunch. Magic kitty has given me his morning with a few pets and hellos and has meowed his good morning. No kisses yet. 

June 10, 2022 – A Little Bit of Catching Up

Another day is about to end. I thought I would write quickly, if that is possible, lol. The weekend has begun for me—not my dialysis weekend, as that begins tomorrow after treatment is completed—this being Friday. Sabbath will begin at sundown at that is at 8:33 PM in Wisconsin. That is about two hours away. I am going to watch the 6 PM movie on HMM titled Heart of the Matter. A young man, disabled intellectually, but living on his own because he has been taking classes to be independent, dies in a car when he drives himself to the hospital due to having symptoms the doctor listed on a paper. The doctor also gave her private phone number to call in an emergency. Now, the doctor feels really bad about what happened and did not know her patient drove. If she knew he drove, he would have told him not to drive. I am going to finish watching and listening to the movie by 8 PM. In the meantime, I have some catching up to do since I have not written since June 7, 2022. 

Thursday 

Pinion Meat Market 

After treatment yesterday, JP picked me up from the clinic and went to the meat market in Beloit, Wisconsin. I was so excited about getting there and when I did, I was not disappointed. I was happy to be there, even though it was a quaint little place, a meat market with chicken, hamburger meat, pork, beef sticks, and other items like twice-baked potatoes. With me not being an eater of pork, I did not get pork. I got three pounds of hamburger meet, five pounds of chicken, and helped JP with items she needed or wanted. After $148 later, I was satisfied and still excited about going to the meat market. I have not been to a meat market since I was a little girl. 

Schwan’s 

As JP and I pulled into the parking lot of Garden Court, we both noticed that Schwan’s truck was nearby, and the gentleman was walking toward us. We stopped briefly and spoke to him, and then we pulled up to have me get out of the vehicle, and we finished talking to the Schwan’s man, and I ordered a couple of things. Summer sausage and stuffed chicken with broccoli and cheese.  

Friday 

My friend JM told me that the summer sausage has pork in it, and so I need to go to a grocery store and get summer sausage that has beef in it only. Shucks! 

yen it comes to loading my medicine into the dispenser. I was going to get my meds for the night ready and Pria did not dispense anything this afternoon. It has happened before, but not in a while. I can be very frustrating, but it is okay. I got my meds out of the bottles instead of the dispenser for tonight. 

My Friday Afternoon 

I have been reading A Killing in a Small Town. I cannot put the book down or so it seems. It is hard to put the book down. It is that good. I also want to admit that I have been a little obsessed about the story about Candy Montgomery and Betty Gore for the past three weeks or so, and finally being able to read the book, I have calmed down considerably. My obsession has dwindled down quite a bit. Because Sabbath will be here soon, I will have to wait to read the book at sundown Saturday evening because it is a book to read for pleasure. 

Also, for my Friday afternoon, I have been watching Monk, and then the movies came on HMM. Watching the movie Heart of the Matter was good. Then I watched another one, and I did not get the title of that one but watched it anyway. It was very good. JM came over after work for a while. 

My Thoughts of the Day

May Not Be Perfect, But Learning 

For the longest time now, I have been using a program called Grammarly on my computer. I have been paying $7 for the use of MS Office online as well. For several years, and no, I have not lost count, I have been a diarist at Dear Diary and have seen a lot of changes and a couple of moves along the way. I have also gone from one apartment building to another after living in one place after twenty-three years, not knowing I was ever going to move again. I became unhappy at Burbank Plaza and my apartment there did not feel like home anymore. I am grateful for my friend JS. As I sit here and remember when I moved in to Garden Court—October 1, 2022, I cannot believe that I have been here nine months now. I have run into an emotional period because of other circumstances that have nothing to do with my happiness of living at Garden Court. My emotional period was because of dialysis, and I could not dialyze one Saturday morning because my emotions were problematic. Last week was a tough week getting back on track…hopefully. 

With that all said, I have to say that I am making changes once again. These changes are noticeable yet subtle. I scrapped the newsletter idea on Word and created pages for each topic I talk about. In other words, Garden Court has its own page. Yes, I still share multiple topics and blog, and write in my diary. Having each topic have its own place now makes it easier for me. Yet that is not all I want to share, okay? With MS Office online, there is Editor. I have been using that as well as Grammarly, and I am learning with that as well. I still use Word and Excel on my computer, but mostly use MS Office online now-a-days. My blogs may not be perfect, but I am learning as I continue to do what I love to do while at home. 

Magic Kitty 

I love him very much, but sometimes he gets a little too wild for me, lol. He is two years old and has a lot of energy. When we play with the laser pointer, he knows when I tough the case the pointer is in. My goodness, he is that smart. This weekend and yesterday he wanted to get into the pantry and closet to pull out plastic bags or make a lot of noise. The noise I am talking about is noise that I can hear only. This morning he found a jelly belly on the floor and started batting that around. I was able to get it and it was a root bear flavored one after telling him to stop several times and he did not listen very well. He does not like the word ‘no.’ I let him get away with too much for the first year and a half of his life. Yep, I let him get away with a lot when he was younger. My Magic Kitty has an attitude and does speak his mind. Yep, I have one of those kinds of cats, and I would not trade him for any other kitty. I love him very much. 

Some More Thought and A Fun Day

I cannot believe that June has arrived already. Although it is already six days into the new month, I am doing everything I can to get back on track with writing in my diary (or journal). Yes, I had an emotional week last week, but my new week began yesterday, Sunday morning at 6:30 AM. I was able to sleep in, but I am usually up between 5 and 7 AM each day no matter what day it is. Anyway, I spent the day reading, watching Columbo movies on the Roku channel, and waking up this morning at 5:45 AM. I am repeating myself—oh well—my diary, right? 

Recapping A Little Bit 

Saturday afternoon my boyfriend’s mom brought a book over from the church. I took the time to read it that afternoon and finished reading it Sunday morning. I read it aloud as Magic rested on the couch. I could not put the book down because it was that good of a read. I loved it. A gal wrote it who I got to meet at my church a few years ago. Her name is Jennifer Jill Schwizer. She is an Adventist, and she can sing and is a part of 3ABN. Reading her story about how she found her way in Milwaukee reminds me of myself finding my way in Janesville (Wisconsin). Remembering my emotional week last week, I need to admit that I did not ask for God’s help. I feel I do not pray good enough verbally, and I must also admit that I do not do so like I should. I need to do better. JJS has reminded me I have work to do to this day. I cannot give up. She did not give up herself. Now, I need to find myself in Janesville, Wisconsin, ok? Thanks for understanding. 

1990 vs 2022 

This morning, instead of watching Murder, She Wrote on HMM at 6 AM, I took the time to watch A Killing in a Small Town on YouTube. It is about Candy Morrison killing her friend Peggy Blankenship. Ok, the names were different in this movie. It was about Candy Montgomery and Betty Gore. Based on a true story, I found the miniseries Candy vs A Killing in a Small Town different yet similar if you get what I am trying to bring up. I have been into mysteries and true stories for years now, and when the miniseries came out on Hulu, I wanted to check it out. I was ten years old in 1980 when Candy killed Betty. I may not have been in Texas. At that time, I was living in Milton, Wisconsin with my parents, and in the fourth grade. It has been forty years since Betty was killed. Between the two different programs it has been thirty-two years. It has been forty-two years since 1980. I am going to be fifty-two in July, on the third, and here I am, feeling obsessed about this incident that happened when I was ten years old, and not exposed to shows like Candy and A Killing in a Small Town at that age. If I were afraid of the Incredible Hulk at age eight, A Killing in a Small Town would be scary at age ten. I was into cartoons at that age and today, forty-two years later, those cartoons are memories that will last a lifetime. 

My Life in Words

A Fun Day

I had a fun day this afternoon. I went to get my nails done at Grand Nails & Spa, went to lunch at Hacienda Real, and shopping for shoes at a place called Rogan’s. It was a fun afternoon, and boy, I am glad to be back home. It was a lot of walking, and finding the perfect shoe took a little time. My old pair of shoes have seen better days like two years ago. With my leg brace, a shoe must fit it perfectly, and the women’s sizes were not fitting right or going over the brace like my old shoes. I ended up going to the men’s sizes of shoes, and I found the shoe that I liked, and it happened to be the same brand my old shoes were. I did not care if my new shoes were white, either. From a Women’s size 8 ½ to a men’s 10, I have to say that my new pair of shoes are comfortable. But a men’s shoe? Okay, I get it. I needed a pair of new shoes for a long time.  I would show a picture of my new shoes, but the picture is too big.

What’s Happening at Garden Court Today?

Garden Court sign in front of the building

I love how Garden Court’s cleaning crew come every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to do their cleaning of the building. The other day I spoke to a gal who works for the cleaning company and asked her about how they go about cleaning a big place like this. She responded that they do three floors on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Wow! They have the company that has their work cut out for them. I wonder if JW, my friend KW’s husband helped them when he was alive. I do not want to know. His passing has left a spot in my heart that is empty. He has been gone for a year now. I have no idea how tenants here took to JW, but I sure do miss him. I know KW misses him. She was his wife for twenty-five plus years. 

So Much Has Happened

Praying Hands

This prayer was from a woman I know from a church I used to attend. Her name is CE 

May 29 post on FB: 

Yesterday, during a family gathering, Dad had a seizure that left him unresponsive and with breathing difficulties. He was taken to the hospital and was sedated, and a breathing tube was put in. They told us he had a seizure and that it was like a stroke. Please, please be praying specifically that his blood pressure would regulate and that his brain would heal. The doctor says when they try to get him off sedation, he goes into a seizure again. Please pray that this will stop and that he will be conscious and able to have the full function of his brain and body. Pray that the doctors and specialists would be able to figure out what is going on and that it would be treatable. Pray also for my brother and his family. The poor kids witnessed the whole thing. Thank you to those of you who have been praying. Mom and I see them working. ❤️Dad is currently in the ICU. 

Actor Gary Sinise shares story of building home for Army veteran, friendship 

Actor Gary Sinise shares story of building home for Army veteran, friendship with him    

Thought 

My heart goes out to Gary Sinise and his crew that built this home for Army veteran.  Thanks Gary S!  You are one of my favorite actors from CSI: New York and The Stand. 

Johnny Depp wins defamation suit against Amber Heard (msn.com) 

Johnny Depp wins defamation suit against Amber Heard 

Thought 

I had a feeling that Amber Heard was lying. I did not keep up with the story everyday like I wanted to, but when I did, I could tell that something was not right. Johnny Depp is one of my favorite actors from Jump Street back in the 80s and the Pirates of the Caribbean. I believed, before the verdict that someone was lying and God knows the truth, and justice would be done. The idea of Heard lying and defaming Depp floors me today. What is wrong with people? Did AH want money? I see that Depp won the case. 

Gerber baby Ann Turner Cook dies at 95 (msn.com)

Dialysis Machine

May 31, 2022 

9:30 AM 

I am writing while at dialysis, so bear with me. 

I got to dialysis by 8:25 AM and waited for my turn and time on the machine. I am sitting in my chair, which is chair #4. The technician in my care did what was necessary to prep the catheter work with the machine correctly and hooked the lines up. Although I have mentioned it before about the lines, I will again. The lines are arterial and venous (intravenous). The venous line is blue, while the arterial line is red. Because I do not have a fistula or a graft that does not work, I have been dialyzing with a catheter that is a temporary means to dialyze. Since I have been dialyzing for four years now and my fistula never got strong to be used, I had a graft placed that lasted nine months before clotting off; I have been using a catheter. 

Home Now 

Dialysis went smoothly until my blood pressure dropped, and I had to be put in minimum. When the machine is placed in minimum, it is no longer taking fluid and waste out but is cleaning my blood. Because I could not have complete treatment on Saturday because the catheter would not let me dialyze, I was already at 93 kilograms. I added another 3.1 kilograms to that weight, leaving me at 96.1 kilograms today. I am 6.4 kilograms over my dry weight. I am upset about it, but this is a small bump in the road that I must get through without getting upset. 

Dr. Anjum was not at the clinic today. I wanted to talk to him, but I will have to wait until next week. 

 June 2, 2022 

Treatment went better today. I was able to get through most of the treatment before my BP went below 100/50, and the machine had to be put in minimum in the last thirty minutes of treatment. I came in at 94.7 kilograms and left a little lighter and closer to my dry weight. To get my BP above 100/50, the technician needs to give me some extra fluid. The clinic will not let a patient leave if they have low BP. It can be a little disappointing when that occurs, but we need to move forward and make the best of what we have and do better next time. If it means sucking on ice cubes to get some fluid without putting on the weight because the kidney is not functioning its best anymore, so be it. I can do it. I must do it to have an effective treatment. 

June 4, 2022 

We have made headway today with dialysis. My BP went low, but the technician let me continue dialyzing since I was not symptomatic right away. When T (male) came back from break, my left leg and foot began to cramp, so he put me on minimum. I looked at the amount of fluid and waste that was removed out of 3.0 kilograms was 2.9 kilograms, to be exact. It was an effort, and I will carefully watch my fluid intake because I do not have dialysis again until June 7, 2022. I did have a small Pepsi that was about eight ounces this afternoon. I surely do not want any more trouble like I did this week. Trying to get fluid out of me was a challenge Tuesday and Thursday, and although I was determined it was going to be a little better than Thursday, I did not want to have fluid put in me because my blood pressure was running low. I was so happy that I did not have to deal with that today. T took diligent care of me, and I asked about low BP and not being symptomatic right away.

Note: This is a compilation of entries because of time restraints and how I was feeling 

June 3 – 

8:00 AM 

I wish I could stay home all day on one of those days, but I have a crucial appointment this afternoon I cannot miss. I tried calling to reschedule, but the person who scheduled it was not in, and I could not risk losing the opportunity to get certified for a power chair. This appointment was scheduled for today at the beginning of last month. I need to go to this appointment even though I do not want to. I am not feeling down; I have been having a busier week. I want a break, but that will have to wait for a while. Tomorrow is my last day of the week for treatment, and I pray that it goes well, but right now, I must take it one day at a time so that I do not feel overwhelmed. Last Saturday was an emotional day for me, and I left the dialysis clinic upset. Treatment was canceled because my catheter was not working correctly, leaving me not having dialysis that morning. I went home frustrated, and now, since Tuesday and yesterday, I am getting back on track but need to watch my fluid intake. Suck it up, kiddo; you are fine. Yes, you had a rough weekend, and tomorrow you have one more treatment before you can rest. A new weekend is in the making, and you have been through a lot, and you are still here. Why fuss. Why the blahs? God is on your side, young lady. Okay, I get it. 

Being the third, I made sure I had paid my rent, phone, and cable bills. That was my priority this morning and every month on the 3rd. I have been living at Garden Court since October 1, 2021, and I am due to have my first recertification on June 17, and I am looking forward to getting it over with and done. I was waiting for some important paperwork to come my way. Management sends out notices at the 120-day mark to set up an appointment 

Afternoon & Evening 

Oh, my goodness gracious. My appointment was less than an hour, and I do not think I will get the power chair, but I am not sure. I will have to wait and see. Anyway, I got home between 1:50 PM and 2:15 PM, then my friend JM stopped by for a while. Then I decided to watch a program streaming on Hulu right now titled Candy. The program runs for five episodes. Even though I have seen the first three episodes and part of the fourth, but not the fifth, I have decided to watch the whole show to get the just of the story. This story was based on actual events on June 13, 1980. A woman, Candy Montgomery, killed a friend Betty Gore with an ax, hitting her forty-one times. The actress who played Candy Montgomery was Jessica Biel and seeing her dressed in outfits from the late 70s, wearing a wig and glasses. She was not recognizable. The only thing I recognized about Jessica Biel was her smile and voice. The end of the show surprised me. Candy Montgomery did not serve anytime for killing Betty Gore. As the story ended, Montgomery divorced four years after Candy’s trial, and she changed her named and became a counselor. I told JM about the movie, and she told me she read the story about Candace (Candy) Montgomery and Betty Gore. I wish I knew the title of that book!! 

June 5 

Here I am. I am doing my best to get current in my diary, but I have failed the past few days. I had a rough e time at dialysis last week and had an appointment Friday afternoon, and my friend JM stopped by after 2 PM after work Friday. I was hoping to have something posted yesterday, but after company left, I grabbed the book that TB brought over and read the first three chapters last night; I read three more this morning before breakfast and the previous three chapters. The book is titled Finding My Way in Milwaukee. The author is Jennifer Jill Schweitzer. In other words, I could not put the book down. 

June 6 

Morning 

With a new week, I have no significant plans except go to dialysis and see my friend DC. She has been gone for a few days and will be returning home this afternoon. I will see her Wednesday evening. I am getting my nails done, looking for new shoes, and having lunch today. I wait for my caregiver to come for the day, and I still have time for myself and Magic Kitty. I have been up since 5:45 AM and took my morning meds. 

I had watched the last fifteen minutes of Monk on HMM and began watching Murder; She Wrote at 6 AM when I decided to see if I could find a movie on YouTube. The film I have been interested in looking at was A Murder in a Small Town starring Barbra Hershey and Brian Dennehy. The story is based on Candy Montgomery and Betty Gore. I watched Candy on Hulu. I can say now that I have watched the 90s version of the story – A Killing in a Small Town, and now I have found the book version on Amazon for my Kindle reader. I will set aside the mystery book set that I have been reading and delve into the story titled Evidence of Love this afternoon and evening when I have time for myself and Magic. 

I had an emotional week last week that I think I have found myself unable to write as much, so I have combined three days’ worth of my life into one journal today. Please bear with me while I get things done. My day has just begun, and I will be back later. 

Garden Court Has Turned into Gossip Court, LOL

I guess we can call Garden Court a different name, Gossip Court, lol. No matter where I am, whether it be at Burbank Plaza or Garden Court, I am going to hear other tenants say how bad this place is, how happy they are, or so and so is moving out. I have heard it many times. I need to come and go from my apartment to appointments three times a week most of the time, and when I do, I wait for my ride outside, or sit by the maintenance door, or between the doors in the back parking lot. I do not have to talk to anyone if I chose to do so, and it usually is just a good morning or hello in passing as tenants go in and out from walking their dogs or having a cigarette or two at the smoking spot. Smoking is allowed out back on the sidewalk that is a good distance away from the building. I am not a smoker myself, but there are many tenants who do. 

When I leave my apartment, it is to go to my dialysis appointments three times a week, go to any doctor appointments that are scheduled, or to visit my friend DC on the first floor. I have no reason to sit in the lobby or community room to talk to other tenants. I do not wish to do so—really. My home is now Garden Court and not Burbank Plaza, and I moved here for good reasons some people may find not good enough. With Burbank Plaza having three floors of tenants and Garden Court having seven floors of tenants, no matter where I am in the community, I am going to hear rumors and tenants talking about other tenants. Rumors and such, I can brush off, but when tenants talk about other tenants, I cannot brush it off easily because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I have been hurt badly by some people in my past and I have done my share of hurting people as well and I do regret it, prayed for it, and moved on with my life with or without people. When I moved to Garden Court, I was making a new lease on life that I felt I had lost while living at Burbank Plaza. I was no longer happy there. I dreaded coming and going from that place, and when I left, I was fine for a while. Returning to Burbank Plaza, I dreaded it. It did not feel like home like it does at Garden Court. I know I have said it many times before. 

When I got home from dialysis Tuesday afternoon, I came home to rest and take it easy for personal and medical reasons. My caregiver, who usually does not come over on Tuesday after I get back from dialysis, she did so yesterday because she has plans for today at her house. She got laundry done by 6 PM. While she was coming and going from my apartment, she was telling me that there was so and so down in the lobby talking about the new office person and it was not genuinely nice. The person who I met when signing paperwork to move in had left and someone new was hired in her place has been here for a brief time. Give the girl a break for goodness sakes. Also, tenants have been saying that homeless people have been sleeping in the lobby, and outsiders are getting in because someone is letting them in. Ok, I get it, people talk, but when a description of someone I know and have known for a long time, I am shocked. My heart ached for a while then I moved on to other things that were more positive and rested. I did not lose sleep over it. I was already beating myself up about my dialysis treatment results over the weekend and upset about that until I spoke to the dietitian Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning. Treatment resumes this morning.