Kristi Karnopp's Diary & Blog

Welcome a new day. God allowed me to wake up another day. Thank you, Jesus. You are indeed my Savior and Lord. Screw Satan.  He is evil and cunning f and a big jerk and liar. Today is Thursday, November 16, 2023. I have an appointment this morning at 9:30 a.m. and I am not exactly excited about it. I am not sure if I am going to keep Dr. B as my primary doctor anyway. JP will make the call as I will let her today. JP has gotten me dressed in the bathroom for the day, so I am ready for my appointment even though I am only semi-ready for my appointment.

Tenants now have their on in their apartments. It makes it difficult for me during the wintry months ahead because heat rises and I get heat from the first and second floor of the building. I do not need to turn my heat up because of it. My heat is above 50 degrees at best when my heat s not on. I do not want the fourth floor neighbor above me to be roasting because my heat is warming my apartment up. I am not that cruel. Anyway, my lips are dry and cracking from loose skin forming on them. I have the winter months to endure with this untreated l spread no comes again. Uugghh! Oh well.

I got more sleep last night but I do have to admit that I kept waking up every hour up until 6 a.m. this morning, and going back to sleep for another hour to stay awake until JP gets here to help me this morning by getting me ready for the day. You do not know how much I wish not to go anywhere today as I sit here to be honest with myself and you. Yep, I am having one of those mornings.

Guess What?

I have confirmation from BL my therapist that I can stop therapy after this week! I guess JP and him talked about it while they were out of the therapy room. I am getting tired and bored about therapy. I will cancel my appointments after this Friday this week since it is Wednesday today. I have something to think about. Also, I looked at my schedule for therapy and I did see correctly that LILLY S was scheduled to be my therapist and we bump heads too good. I do not care for LILLY S much. I do not like her very much. She rubs the wrong way with me. When BL was looking at my remaining schedule, LILLY S was on my schedule as therapist, but the receptionist must have changed the schedule to have BL or D. The receptionist found the error and corrected it. Now I have some thinking to do.

Okay, despite my sleepless night and morning around 4 a.m., I have to say good morning. It may not be exactly a good morning because of my start of the morning. When I do not sleep well for the night, I have to admit that I get moody and a little grumpy and tired, and definitely quiet on days like this. I want to scream and cry and let the tears flow down my cheeks. I am not exactly a happy person today. I want to stop therapy sessions now, too. I want to go to dialysis, but that is only my plan for now. I do not want therapy anymore. I want it to be over with. Screw the other future sessions. I just want yo go to dialysis and back home only right now. I need the therapy, though!

I have been watching episodes of Midsomer Murders on Roku Live channel 522. I see that John Nettles was on tge show for 13 years, then Neil Dudgeon played John Barnaby as CID Barnaby who is a cousin to Tom Barnaby.

My Magic Kitty is very vocal about his num nums this morning. I love him for his vocalization, but it can go so far each time he gets vocal. He is learning patience for his num nums and it is not going as planned in my world. I love the guy lots, though.

Woohoo, my window is open for some outside air this morning. Now I have to get in my power chair for the day. More entry of thought soon to come again. Was

It is 12:49 a.m., and I am still awake. I dosed off and on before 8 p.m. but have not really slept yet. I am now one day, November 13^th, to yet post my entry. I will do it later today when I have time. I am going to bed now. Good night now.

It is now 8:44 a.m. and I am dressed for the day. Sleep was difficult last night anx this morning at 4 a.m. I am not very happy about it. The most important thing is I did not forget my friend and goddaughter BM’s birthday this year like I did last year. 

Even though the family dynamics are causing a lot if emotional ups and downs in my life, I do have to admit that my parents do give and get cool gifts or things we need to use. My need for a good walker is necessary. My insurance will cover my new walker I desperately need to walk. Mercy Mall has walkers that I can no longer use, and I cannot get anything else because my insurance WILL NOT cover anything but Medline brand walkers. Very frustrating. Even the medication my boyfriend KB needs does not qualify with his medical insurance. Absolutely not acceptable. Absolutely ridiculous and disgusting to be honest. Even now, starting December, I have to be $23 a month for my medical needs. It has been better than that for a long time. I understand the $3 copays, but having to pay a monthly fee is absolutely ridiculous. Dumb to be honest with you. Now I have to add $23 to my darn expenses a month.  Uugghh! Well, anyway my mom and dad were going into the plan to get my walker at $205 together until my dad said he will get the walker I need for getting around. My mom did not have to put anything into my walker. When my caregiver JP came in with it, it was a lot different from what I was expecting. It was the type of walker I have seen a couple of male patients at dialysis use. Also, to be very honest, but by 2 a.m. this morning, I figured it out that my dad bought me my walker. I forgot that JP was getting a nice maker machine for the counter with all the emotions I was dealing with. Yes, I had a bad day on Sunday. I did a lot of crying that evening and I blamed my mom for it all. I did not want to talk about something that was upsetting me, and she did anyway. You know, the debit card incident. Excuse me for having memorization with numbers, people, and I want to memorize my debit card. Ok, you get it now. I am 53 years old. Ugh and double ugh!

I have already had a hissy fit about some stuff already. If I cannot memorize my card—my debit card. I am frustrated about it because of what happened in October with my account with Grammarly. Even my mother agrees I do not memorize my debit card number. We had a fight about it. I said, ‘fuck them both’. I was meaning my mom and JP both. Yes, both of them. Also, I did not want to talk about what was bothering me with her and she did so anyway. When we talked about the debit card, she really doesn’t want me to have one anymore and use my debit card and use my checks instead. What Mom does not understand is that debit cards are needed. She got kind of pissed off about the fact that I have above $300 in my checking account as of today with it being only the 12^th of the month. To be honest, I am shocked about having only above $300 at this time of the year.

Along with getting my apps on Roku updated with my debit card number I have now was done as well. I wanted Paramount+ Hallmark Movies, and another app that needed to be updated from my last card ending in 7078.  Mom does not understand that I watch these channels. I watch Hulu, Netflix, Roku Live a lot. I watch apps that have a reasonable price for the month — $4.99 to $9.99. If there is package deal, I would talk to Jackie about it. Charter and Disney have been having issues with with contract and Spectrum had to renew the contract, but we almost did not have Disney as a channel line-up decision. Spectrum no longer has Hulu and Disney+ as an option anymore—no fun in knowing this.

Today’s Plan

Today JP is having her Tupperware party at Garden Court. There are going to be 15 to 17 people there, and to be honest, I am not fond of crowds anymore. I love having one on one sessions or just one small group of people. I am also very picky to who I chat with and why I chat with.

Tupperware Party Time

The party has started. TS, the gal who is telling us about the Tupperware products is very pretty, and nice. I ended up getting $1000 of Tupperware bucks for the auction she does at every party. Odis does not use any of my Tupperware bucks this party. JP got me to book a party for her even though I was not wanting to. Going to this party was ok, but I really did not really want to go even though there were good people there—tenants I can hang around with in the lobby. I guess the party was good enough. I am throwing a Tupperware party on March 5, 2024. Wow, two and a half months left of 2023!

End of Party

Now the party is over. TS is packing things up, tenants and I have put our orders in, and a tenant has booked a party for February. I have my party in March on the 5^th. I am tired of sitting in my power chair because my poor butt cheeks are going numb, and I want my pillow top mattress. Yes, I am ready to get upstairs to bed, but I have a problem—I want JP to go upstairs with me, too. We hatched a plan that worked with me, and DH and I went upstairs to get me into bed for the night, even though it was only going on 5 o’clock. I am ready to get home. Parties like this wear me out.

Home at Last

Home and in bed at last. What four hours of a Tupperware party. Too long for me. Yeah, I get it that is getting out for a little while, but I am a home body more than a party person. Being in a lighted room too long bothers my eyes and sitting on my butt for 3 to 5 hours is too long. When I sit in my chair at dialysis, it is for 2 hours and 45 minutes. It is okay, but I am ready for bed when I get home like today — now going on 5 p.m. JP has come up from downstairs, and DH and JP discuss about tomorrow, and soon leave for the rest ox the evening to my own devices, leaving me tired and dozing in bed too tired to read a chapter of the book I am now reading from the public library on my iPad. I am a member of the library of sorts. The Hedberg Library has a system for library people like me—a home body—called Hoopla and Libby. I am registered to both. Two apps I have to get accustomed to yet because this the first month I have used the apps. It is okay, too. Now, back to Home at Last.

I am unable to read anything tonight. I can barely keep my eyes open anymore at 5 o’clock something. I am reading a good book from rbe library on my iPad. Too tired. 7:45 a.m. does not come any faster than normal rate. At least today, at the party, time seemed to go by slowly—slower than molasses. A long day and night ahead.

Knowing that the time is only going on 3:30 a.m., I have to admit that I am feeling a little pissed at my friend KW. To be honest, I think my friendship with her is gone. I rarely see her and most of the time her moodiness gets in the way in my world.

JP has called me to tell me KW and mother-in-law will not be coming to the Tupperware party because they were exposed to Covid. I do not believe it to be honest with you. KW is a liar, a selfish, thinks she is entitled. Oh well, I will not be seeing her tomorrow. Even her mother-in-law is not coming to the Tupperware party either. Ok? I will not deal with drama from KW tomorrow. She will not be getting the $25 Amazon gift card for her birthday.

Ok? Trying to explain to JP to be careful what she says to MH and her sister KH, or it will go to KW in seconds. MH went to KW’s house today after KW told JP that she and JRS were exposed to Covid? Unbelievable and I do doubt the fact that KW and her MIL were exposed to covid. I think KW does not like large crowds like I do at times. There are 15 people coming to the Tupperware party tomorrow. We have two less people coming. I am kind of glad that KW is not coming tomorrow to be very honest with you. I do not mean to be mean and rude, but KW makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes.