Kristi Karnopp's Diary & Blog

Dialysis Update

I am not happy about my weight being at 92.3 kilograms as it is over 200 pounds right now. I have been dealing with a weight gain because of Seroquel over a month ago, and now my diet is back on. I am pissed about my weight gain because of that stupid medicine. Even though I do not have Dr. Hussli anymore, she did tell me what my meds would do for and explained the side affects, Dr. Boateng DID NOT say anything about the meds side affects and I gained ALL of my weight over 190 pounds back. Qi stopped seeing her as my new doctor and found Dr. Christopher Taylor at SSM Health as my primary doctor and he has been excellent. The only reason I am still dialyzing at Mercy is because Dr. Anjum is the ONLY doctor I trust at Mercy now. I will never go to the ER at Mercy now, either. I will go to SSM from now on though. Being admitted twice in 2022 and not being able to go home afterwards, even though I said no to going to a nursing home, happened twice, and so, I have little faith in Mercy about that. I have a home to go to! I have two fur babies! I will NOT abandon them to be cared for by strangers. Dr. Taylor knows I have a home 🏡 to go back to if I am ever admitted at SSM Health and Jackie will back me up. I have 15 minutes left. Woo hoo! I am ready to blow this popsicle stand, lol.

No Arguments About My Day

With the fact that this is the first time, all day, this evening at 8 PM, that I have found a moment to write. I was in the living room all morning from 9:15 AM until 3 PM when I decided to have my tired body go back to my bedroom in bed for the afternoon and night. That is where I am right now…in bed. I have been reading and watching tv, the Resident. I began watching a movie titled the Resident with Hilary Swank but stopped once it got to scary or Hilary’s character and myself at the same time. Horror movies have their hard time getting through if movie is to scary and gory in my house these days  and I stop watching horror movies for a while again. The gentleman going into Hilary’s apartment to watch her sleep is absolutely insane and scary. Too scary to see how it ends. With me knowing that movies have fake killings even though in movies that tell the truth of some stories can prove to be extreme and good in my opinion most of the time.

The Weather

Well, the weather being a little rainy and wet today, no plans to go anywhere was fine for me today. With spring in the air, the weather is a little cooler today and tomorrow as I look at the weather. All fine and good to be honest with you. I have no plans for the weekend at this point. Running low on the money in my bank account this time. Tomorrow, I need to call MTM to get my rides set up for a ride o the 25th to counseling therapy with Deb Johnson, but I have to make sure of my med check appointment at 10 AM, then counseling at 11 AM that same day. Tomorrow is Friday, woohoo!! One more treatment for the week at dialysis and the weekend will be here … yay!

Julie Dixon’s Call

Her phone call made some sense, but after calling MTM to reconfirm that my rides are set at 11 AM and picked up my 11:16?AM on dialysis days, Julie’s phone call made no sense at all. She was reading it wrong or seeing something was amiss in our conversation when I set out my complaints yesterday over the phone with Jackie here that afternoon when I got home from dialysis. Her phone call confused me to no end and raised the dander of my emotions up to a frightening fear of complaining again for a while. It’s not my fault that MTM screwed up setting my rides this week. They had me going to occupational therapy twice this week when I don’t have therapy right now, but an MTM agent called me to confirm or to delete the therapy appointments from the roster. It was to delete them. I am only going to dialysis. I think her call was unnecessary because MTM has it down that I need to be picked up by 11:15 AM and they pick me up by 11 AM most days except last Friday they did not pick me up until 11:22 AM and I drove home when I was done because they could not pick me up until 3:15 or 3:20 PM, unacceptable time! I complained about that with Julie Dixon. I kind of wish that MTM did not allow her to look so deep in my records. I don’t fib about my rides being late and or not picking me up like Tver should. Trying to get my information across to people sometimes makes me feel more anxious at times … this call did not make me very happy today. With Veyo not believing me at times was dumb—real dumb!

Now

The cat kids of mine opened the bedroom closet wide enough for them to play in there! Silly cats! Magic is real good at opening closets and cupboards these days, and he is teaching Millie how to do it now, LOL. I have to wait until Deb to come in the morning to close the closet. At this time, I am having Millie under the bed in the tunnel the cats have sleeping and Magic on the bed being cuddly at my right side of the bed against my right hip sleeping. Time for me to get going for the night as well. Tired.

Lately

Living at Garden Court has been a little more difficult to contend with. I have had my down days lately and those days were quite a few a week ago. My want to leave this place with everyone living here so far behind without looking back at the years I have lived here going on four years in October. I cannot believe I have been here that long while for half a year I was in nursing homes recovering from illnesses that put me there wanting to be home with Magic. Remember that Millie did not come into our lives until December 9, 2023, to be a companion and sister to my often-unruly boy cat Magic. Getting a companion for him, a sister, was the best for him. He has less unruly moments in his life now. Good boy my Magic kitty going to be 4 years old in May. Millie will be 1 year old in July or August now. She is 9 months old this month we call April 2024. Debbie is vacuuming the bedroom. I have dialysis today.

Lately, during my meltdowns, having one over the weekend on Sunday, I must admit that I feel I am a burden on everyone, and I do things that turn people away from me. My dad’s words that hurt me the most are replayed repeatedly my memory from long ago with his angry voice. Those days are awful days in my memory bank of life. Sad, I know, as I cry from memories of my dad’s meanness towards me as a child, teenager, young adult, and at my age of 53 today, soon to be 54 on July 3rd and that is a dialysis day for e God willing of course. With the stress I have been dealing with lately, I am surprised my heart has withheld all of it this far without problems. Oh oh, I hear a siren outside as a fire truck went by nearby. Deb is out here with vacuum nn to be 54 July 3rd in three months now. Millie has the same birthday month as me—woohoo!Debbie is out here in the living room with the vacuum now. It is a little too noisy for my ears this morning. I guess today vacuum cat fur from the floor according to Deb. It is okay I guess. My floors need to be vacuumed more than once a week with my babies and food crumbs anyway. It works for me!

Well, it is almost time for me to go wait for my ride downstairs as I have dialysis today. Yeah, I wrote a lot as my words are going across a ot today. I have days like this often during the week and I enjoy my time at the kitchen .table most days now that the weather us a little warmer this spring. Yep, spring in Wisconsin has finally come. With the storm we have had last night, the one I did not hear all night because I was engrossed in my reading and gaming, has cooled things down to 60 degrees and the weather is to get cooler yet tonight. Not really looking forward to it that much, but at least I have tv, books to read, and the internet, my journal, and diary at Dear Diary we pretty call a blog these days. My babies are happy to have the place to themselves for at least four hours until 3 PM when I finally get home for the rest of the day, no dialysis tomorrow, and back to dialysis Friday before my weekend begins again. I think my week is going by kind of fast this week. It is already ‘hump day’ Wednesday already. Even my meltdown did not slow down my days this week.

Magic 3 1/2 years old

Millie 9 months old

Why Not?

With some time before Deb gets here this morning anx since I’m awake for the day, I can write in my journal/diary for Dear Diary, would not be a bad idea. I can always read or rest while at dialysis if I’m tired for two hours and forty-five minutes today. Yep, dialysis day today. 8:15 to 8:30 AM is over and hour and twenty–two minutes away from now.

My Day Yesterday

Don’t worry about me as I will not repeat myself. I just want to write my thoughts the best I can for now. It has been a good day, but was ready to come back to write yet another entry before falling asleep.  That was done although up late last night after 10 PM and 11 PM. For the first time in a long time getting to sleep. I think I survived the afternoon downstairs with my neighbors in the lobby. To be very be honest  with you, I really wanted to go aback upstairs after Jackie got my mail from the mailbox. It was nothing worth keeping so Jackie threw away the p apers in the trash can by the mailbox. / was downstairs. There was no way in hell I was going to miss saying hello to that friend of mine for the day. It saved me a text today. Donna was waiting for her worker who is one of the laziest people I’ve heard about. Jackie knows Donna’s worker personally and she is not the greatest person. She is lazy and doesn’t cook for Donna like Jackie and Deb do for me. Jackie likes to use my microwave more than the stove and oven. Debbie always cooks me an egg or two for breakfast in the morning after getting me ready for the day. My day yesterday was not too bad even with Jackie coming at 12 noon after taking care of her aunt’s emergency that was about a fraudulent thing happening on her bank account. Her aunt doesn’t make good choices anymore. Jackie was telling me of a incident the other day with her aunt that made her, Jackie, an unhappy niece one day. Yeah, you don’t want to piss Jackie off because she will not let you forget your wrongdoings. The story, however not worth telling about because I really have some jealousy about the aunt, I wish she never came to the city. I do not trust her at all.

Magic

He decided to come back to the bedroom’s cat tree to take a nap before Debbie gets here within the hour. What a good boy he can be sometimes and most of the time now that he has his sister Millie Rose Blossom these days. Magic and Millie are good fur babies to have around. I love them both even though Millie is still very skittish and does not want to be petted or held. That’s why the pet shelter redeemed her as a feral kitty for adoption. They even clipped her ear to deem her a feral kitten.

Millie

Adopting Millie in December 2023 on the 9th, I have to admit she has become a sister for Magic within a week or two before taking down the metal house she lived in for a short time. The metal house went back to the store since it was rarely used. She gets along with her brother Magic most of the time and rough houses with him at least once to twice a day these days.

I think, not expecting to have two cats in my lifetime, having these two babies have been a blessing . I love them both even though Millie is right now very skittish and never leaving her now home with me.

Thoughts on Dialysis These Days

I do have to admit that I am getting frustrated with dialysis these days  compared to my days from months ago. My moods have been up and down lately. I want dialysis to be done now. I have been reading a library book I take with me every day to pass the time a little more quickly than usual, but the past three days reading has not happened because I am tired and my eyes are droopy lately. Monday, I watched tv for the first time in a couple of weeks or so. I sat in chair #18. I watched Scooby Doo cartoons, and a Dr. Phil episode on OWN. I don’t miss cable television anymore. I live and love tv more on Live or tv apps like Freevee, Roku, Hulu, and Netflix as my favorite streaming services at this time.

Right Now

With some time before Deb gets here this morning anx since I’m awake for the day, I can write in my journal/diary for Dear Diary, would not be a bad idea. I can always read or rest while at dialysis if I’m tired for two hours and forty-five minutes today. Yep, dialysis day today. 8:15 to 8:30 AM is over and hour and twenty–two minutes away from now.

My Fur Babies

This one time was a rare moment in time I saw my babies on the same cat tree taking a nap. This rare occasion has made my heart jump a beat or two because I practically cried seeing

I do have to admit that when the cats rough housing about in the living room, they disconnected the power to the internet from the wall tonight, and I got very upset about it that I had a meltdown for a while. Jackie was a sweetheart, coming over to get the internet working proper again. I knew the cats did something to the modem or router in the living room and it was no outage even though I called to double check. I even heard a crash onto the floor, and I had a damn meltdown and could not wait until Deb to come in thuntil te morning, and her electronics knowledge is low when it comes to the internet. UGH! Oh well, the internet is up and running again. Thank you. Now I am very tired  and going to bed. I cannot keep my eyes open and anyway, I have dialysis in the morning beginning a new week of treatment.

The rest of my day was perfect until the cats decided to disable the internet. With the fact that I have dialysis starting a new week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, my meltdowns always wear me out.

My morning was fine and not seeing Jackie until 12 noon was okay, but I had mixed feelings fs about it for the first two hours or before she got here. I guess her aunt had a lot going on in her world that she, Jackie, had to help her before coming my way. I was not thrilled about it at first and my thoughts were being kind about her aunt either saying this aunt is not to be trusted. Bad thoughts. I don’t think her aunt can be trusted. How bad that sounds. I guess I don’t want her to help others. Not a good thought—jealous, no doubt.

Not only did she work for me, but she helped my neighbor Marie H putting together her cat’s new cat tree at my place. That was fine and good, but I wish Marie did not come over uninvited. She just knocked at my door and Jackie told her to come on in. I was really not in the mood for company outside my caregivers and cats.

After the cat tree was put together, I wanted to get my mail. We ended up downstairs chatting with other neighbors in the lobby. My best friend Donna was down there and we chatted for a while before I got tired and sleepy, and wanted to head back upstairs I still call home.

After getting back home, per se, I was ready to get into bed for the night to read, watch tv, and play some games on my phone  for a while.

Here are my fur babies on the cat tree for the first time my heart and camera caught for the first time, while reading my book written by CarolineGraham titled Written in Blood. What a lovely site to see for the first time ever. Such a quiet night this has turned into after I told Magic to stop playing with the cupboard in the kitchen. Magic loves to open cupboard doors.

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