Boredom, School Resumes Monday, and Yesterday’s Anxiety Attack, and That Personal Thing



When Monday rolled around this week, I was looking forward to the Spring Break for college/school/classes. It was supposed to be something to look forward to here but by Monday, I was pretty much beside myself with not a lot to do. I have been on line off and on here for hours to no end and I have been keeping a running tally (estimated of course) of how many hours at a time I am on my computer. I have been on it more during Spring break than other time I am at school or home during the school week. I was on line the other day over 7 hours and I am never on that much during the school year, at least this semester anyway. I have been beside myself these days during spring break that I got away from my place because I was developing cabin fever and my anxieties were up a bit all week long for some reason or another whether it was personal or private. It has been an odd week and I did not even open a textbook like I had planned altogether when I was going to be home. How horrible is that?! Not good anyway. So here I am, at home today, bored too death. I have no reason to go outside simce it is rainy and wet and it has been pretty much since the beginning of the week pretty much. At least I got out of town Wednesday for a few hours and lunch with Mark, my best man friend and buddy.

School Resumes Monday

Today IS the last day of school’s Spring Break. Thank goodness. I am glad for that.

Yesterday’s Anxieties

I really flew the coop yesterday. I had a lot of anxiety yesterday because I could not find my SS card. A company, a cell phone company, wanted two verifications from me – SS card and my picture ID or driving liscence with my picture. The anxiety was awful! I cried and cried and could not figure out what was wrong. I also could not figure it out why I had to fax the different ID’s to the company anyway, when it is used for credit checks all the time. The anxieties began at 10 a.m. yesterday morning and lasted until about 3 p.m. and it was so long and time did not have any meaning whatsoever. It was so bad that I did not even wear my watch at all yesterday. It was that bad again. But the anxieties were taken care of by 3 p.m. and everything seemed fine but after 4 p.m., I had repercussions of the anxieties I dealt with most of the day. I felt like screaming outside my head as I was hearing the screaming inside my head. That was the worst part of the ending I think. I began to the feel the rocking back and forth. It was bad. I hate these kind of days. It is so hard on me and my friends who help me deal with it. I wonder what my immediate family thinks most of the time and that is a whole different story.

That Personal Thing

Ok doke, part of the reason I went off the handle yesterday was because I now have my period I do not mind having my periods as long as they are decent flows but I hate to fly off the handle because my dratted period. I can be real moody sometimes and it is a pain in the butt for sure for myself and those around me. I hate to be around EVERYONE when I am moody. I am very selective during my moody stages. I hate it witn a passion and believe me there is nothing to love about my period except for the fact that I am glad I get them on time each month. I am also glad about my period being now then next week when I will be travelling to Redgranite, WI to bury my grandfather next t0 my grandma. I am emotional as it is right now. I slept from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. this morning, took my medications, and fell back to sleep until ALMOST noon! I HOPE TODAY IS A BETTER DAY!

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ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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