What Is It Like To Live in Constant Anxiety??



It seems that the building I live in breathes! There are tenants who are not trouble makers and then there are those trouble makers. What is worse is that those trouble makers know exactly who they are. I am feeling that this building breathes. I feel like big brother is watching me. The walls are so thin here that I can hear the next door neighbor snore at night when it is deadly quiet around here. I have a phone that is 2.4 Ghz and yet I am not sure if any conversation can be picked up on a scanner and there are people in here who do have scanners. Living here has been nothing but hell this past week where I go to school every morning except most Tuesdays and Thursdays so I can get away from this place. All I have been hearing is verbal attacks against another tenant who happens to be my friend. I even have to put my friendship with Nana Lea in the Lord’s hands because she too has filed complaints agaunst my friend last week or so. Today, having more thought about this past week to yesterday, has been nothing but an emotional turmoil against my friend. The lies from other tenants have been flying furiously around here like a spreading fire and all it is an emotional and verbal attack here and there. I feel that big brother is watching and listening to everything that is going on in this place. I would move but where would I go? I love it here other than the <i.sh** that has been going on these past couple of months. Ok, I swore here. That side of me IS COMING out to play. I feel like sh** emotionally right now and having my period DOES NOT help me none whatsoever. I even called my counseling place today to see when I can see the doctor to be put on something to help me emotionally and mentally. I will not see him until the 30th of April. I have my period now and it is real troublesome today. I hate them even though I am glad I get them each month. I wonder how bad it is going to get for me this month as far as my monthly since it started today. YUCK! and double YUCK! I get so emotional at times during my monthly’s that’s for sure!

I remember one time when one of the tenants, who is a male tenant, b****** about the fact that I write about the tenants in my entries. I DO NOT use names so the innocent and not innocent are protected by law. I have freedom of speech both in private and public matters. This tenant said that I was broadcasting everything that goes on here where I live all over the internet and really I am venting and I do not broadcast all over the internet at all. This place, Dear Diary, is a place to write your feelings and share your thoughts with other diarists who feel the same way I do part of the time. That tenant is nothing but a trouble maker – one of them – here and he is one of the tenants who is verbally going against my good friend saying that he (the tenant) was attacked by my friend and that NEVER happened. Everyone here is just vengeful and malicious here. I feel sorry for the tenants who do not have a happy life. They have to make other people miserable as well. I am beginning to feel this place is pure evil and it breathes, has eyes and a mouth, and definitely a nose! It is horrible…BAD! I have been crying a lot lately because this past week has been nothing but a hellhole. I want to move away and get my own house. I am not happy right now.

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ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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