My Day Today – June 1, 2004

My day began when Kelly’s husband Jimmy called a little bit befoore 7 a.m.. No big deal really. My alarm was set for 7 a.m. for the past few days anyway, whether I like it or not. After talking to Jimmy for a while, I had talked to Kelly for a while, learning that Jimmy was up at 6 a.m. this morning which is amazing to both of us some of the time. I also learned too that I had upset Kelly by talking to Janessa at Kelly’s house on the phone. Kelly did not like that and asked me not to do it again. I had hurt Kelly’s feelings last night and she could not tell me right away because she was afraid she was going to say something she would later regret saying if she said the wrong thing. Everything is cool between Kelly and I. Things are even cool between Janessa and I as well. I had confused Janessa yesterday afternoon as she misunderstood something so her feelings were hurt as well. Neither one of us could go to bed without resolving the issue between us. After Friday’s big fight between Janessa and I, I have been very careful with my words and feelings, and have been more open to feelings of others.

Anyway, I was pretty much home all morning long after waking up at 7 a.m. this morning. I got dressed, despite the feeling I did not want to get dressed for the day, but knew I had no choice in the thought because I had to go to the grocery store after lunch to get food to eat, lol. In the morning, from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., I was on and off the internet playing around. Then decided, with a question of the weather staying dry, went to the store at 1:30 p.m. and got home at 2:40 p.m.. Oops, I forgot to mention that I took the garbage and newspapers out to the garbage and recycling bins after cleaning Emilee’s litter box, and did the dishes that were in the sink and on top of the stove. CAN’T FORGET THOSE THINGS! LOL

After I got home from the grocery store – a health food place called The Vital Living Center, I got online to check my e-mail and had gotten an e-mail from my friend Chad that disturbed me and confused me after the fact that Janessa and I had worked out our issue last night after midnight. I was not very happy as well as confused and unsure if something happened between Janessa and I today I did not know of. I later learned that my friend Chad should not have written the e-mail. He did not know that Janessa and I worked things out between us before retiring for the night. Neither Janessa or I could go to bed with our thoughts weighing heavily on our minds. After talking last night, our minds were at ease and we could sleep better BUT FOR SOME REASON I COULD NOT GET TO SLEEP until some time between 3:30 and 4 a.m.. I woke up a little before 7 a.m. to begin my day? WOW!!

Talking to Janessa what was happening in my feelings, I had learned that it was ok between us and that we are going to get together on Thursday for lunch unless something comes up on either end before Thursday. I totally confused to Chad’s e-mail and learned that Chad was just concerned about Janessa last night and thought he was doing a favor for his girlfriend. After telling Janessa what happened and it was out in the open, I felt better knowing that everything was ok after all between us. I felt small. Shortly after talking to Janessa, Chad called and I asked him what the deal was regarding to the e-mail he sent me today and that I was confused, and then I told him that Janessa and I worked things out between us. He then apologized to me which was accepted. My heart is so soft sometimes!!!! lol

Sitting here now, after 9:30 p.m., feeling that my day was both a happy and unhaopy one. Anxiousness and anxieties did play their lovely roles today no matter where I was. I was so glad, even though I felt unsure about some things in my world today, I got out of my apartment to the grocery store, and was able to talk to my friends about how I felt in my heart and mind. I am going to go to bed shortly…I hope, lol.