Excuse my language, per se, but I am pissed off right now and feeling it right now. I just do not always understand certain friends when it feels rules change in a split second. I have been texting a friend and then she gets all acting like I do not listen to her and tells me so … when she does not listen to herself about not texting when she continues to text herself. AARRGG!! I finally decided to shut my phone off for the night and will turn it back on in the morning once I get started for the day around 730 am.
CSE kind of pissed me off AGAIN! It is getting harder to understand her for some reason. She is closing herself up more with me than she ever has since January 2011, and that does not make it easy for our friendship to blossom any further. Her actions remind me of times I think I have broken down the wall between my mother and I and then it seems that mom always rebuilds that wall for me to break down again. My mom is a self-centered lady and I have always felt not super close to my mom even though she did give me life twice. CSE seems to be so closed up in her own world that her actions just reminds me of my mom sometimes. I think my side of the friendship is a love/hate relationship – a lot like my relationship with my mom less than half the time. I just do not get CSE anymore. She has changed ever since 1998. I am still trying to understand why in the world she changed her name legally from CKR to CSE in the first place whereas I would not have. Her actions prove to show that she changed her name to rid of the past she lived but it is now catching up with her. She rarely sees or talks to her family because there are problems in her family. AARRGG!!
My world is so complicated sometimes! AARRGG!!