For some reason I am feeling restless, anxious, and not sure of something… I have so much to say and do yet in my world that have yet to be told written and let out of my head, mind, heart, and soul, but I have not done so in a while. My world is going full circle of course but I am feeling anxiety and a little bit restless … even tired. I have so much to do yet that keeps me going, though. Plans are made and things are being done.
The idea of not being friends with JSL anymore is a relief but I am not sure if she is done playing her games yet and so that is disrupting my psyche a little bit. Of the texts, messages, emails, and the unknown calls on my cell, I did not answer them for a reason and I had good reason not to. I thought I knew her well enough but apparently I did not know her very well. The feeling inside me was she did not accept me as a friend entirely because of some things I did and did not have control over. Having an anxiety and panic disorder is no fun and now it is under control more. I also felt that she would point out my flaws and faults so much and most of the time she would hurt my feelings. When I deleted and blocked her from my Facebook page, I had my reasons and I did not have to sit and explain my reasons to her whatsoever. She is no longer a part of my life anymore nor am I a part of hers now as well. I just have this unsure feeling that she is not done playing her games.
As for anxiousness and restless … that can be easily explained that a lot of things are going on around here now that the building has been taken over by new management and the building is getting fixed up nice. Also, I am seeing more people coming and going around here and I am not used to that, either, and I have lived here for 14 years now. I live on the 1st floor and have since October 2009 and I have to admit that a lot of people use the back door more than the front door these days – tenants coming and going. I also have upcoming appointments and I am a little bit nervous about that as well but I know that my appointment will go just fine. This whole restless and anxious thing I am dealing with right now is rather annoying right now is all I can say.