That Feeling Still Exists

I am still not happy with CSE here.  I am still upset.  Her trust has been misplaced and she has to earn in back again.  There is no trust left at all.  I did what I could do for her yesterday because I have enough empathy but what I did yesterday for her is all that I am going to do for her.  I have no idea of how her trust can be built up to its fullness at this point and time in my life and world.  I have to stay away from her for now and say hello to her in the public areas of the building we live in.  She is not welcome in my home anymore – not at this time is something I wish I could say but that is not the case.  There are reasons why I am upset and angry with her, and I can not sit here and coddle her, lie to others about her situation because she put herself in a mess that no friend can help her.  She has dug a hole and it is getting deeper and deeper as the days forward in her life and mine.  I know she has done a lot for me to help me but if a person won’t help themselves, I have some problems with that.  I have troubles with handling some things in my life but I have people I can talk to when it comes to help and I can do things for myself, too.  I can do without CSE now.  I am not going to be friends with someone who gets attention for the wrong reasons.  I want CSE to get help for her problems before I can start trusting her again.  Intervention is definitely needed for CSE!  I am scared for her.

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As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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