Putting Pleasantries Aside

I am putting some pleasantries aside momentarily because I need to do so.  As a human being with CKD, a life to live every day no matter what is wrong with me, I cannot find myself enjoying my life with people in it who want to be a part of a clique that brings down others through gossip and rumor running amok around me.  So those people, who are gossiping and spreaders of rumors have been cut out of my life for good.  I am keeping to myself and doing what I need to do with people who do not take the time to spread vicious gossip and lies to the extent of ruining one’s self esteem or reputation.  I have known for a very long time now that having a bunch of friends does not make you popular or great.  There is always a “friend” in a large group of friends who do not like someone for some reason or another. For almost a week now I have not gone into the community room during the day or evening or even going out of my apartment unless I have an errand to run outside the building or to see the manager.  I wish not to see other tenants in the community room playing games or watching TV, or enjoying each one’s company chatting.  This past weekend has been an emotional one.  A specific tenant has not been the greatest neighbor lately and once again.  I have lost hours of sleep last week that by Friday morning I was so exhausted and tired when my shower gal got here at 8:30 AM.  Since Friday the problem has been taken care of…thankfully…with regret in my heart that how the problem was taken care of had to be a notice of violation of the rules and regulations of living here.  I am in the clear but a neighbor is not.  If she continues to violate the rules and regulations of living here, trouble will come again for this tenant/neighbor.  Do I feel bad?  I do feel bad in a way but when it comes to someone violating rules and regulations (friend or not) I will not apologize when I am in the right to have my nights quiet and stress-free so I can sleep well at night.  I do not feel sorry that my neighbor has got a notice of violation and must take it seriously but I feel bad enough that it had to be me to be the one to do something about it…again.

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About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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