The Beginning of my Spiritual Thoughts

This past Saturday, at church, something happened to me inside emotionally.  My life as a Christian has its flaws and fractures.  I need to get back on the right track right now.  I wanted to share about Saturday, but it did not happen.  Life that day was relaxation after I got home from church before and after my IRIS employee AR got here.

I am not conflicted, but my thoughts and attitudes need some work to this very day.  I still do not certain family members or friends in my life anymore because the challenges that have caused some friendships and close ties to sever.  I have decided, not too long ago, that I let the past and forgive those who have hurt me.  No one needs to get stressed nor rehash what happened whether one person told the truth or has lied.  I am 100% behind my dad who wants answers to my brother’s choices he has made with his wife.  I dad is hurting inside.  I am hurting inside.  Is my hurting inside clouding to the point that I think my dad is also hurting?  I do not know my dad’s feelings are and I will not ask him what he is feeling because certain subjects are very hard for him to talk about.  Anyway, whatever family dysfunction is going on and has been going on for the past nine years, it is not going to stop me from moving ahead in life with certain family members not in my life.  What happens in my personal life does affect my spiritual life.  When I am anxious upset, down/going through a bout of depression, I do not remember to pray or take time for God.  That is one of major downfalls in life.

I am not perfect, and I have my issues whatever they may be.  I am usually a very happy person, but when changes occur in my life too fast, the weather is not real nice, having insights on family drama can cause a disruption in my happy person physically.  I need to rely on God every day no matter what is going on around, with, and at me, and today is a start although I have begun since Saturday.

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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