Once again this is the first time I have written since November 14. It has been difficult for me lately. I still have a lot to say, but how to express it in words without it feeling like a chore rather than a pleasure to write for me the day. I thought the worst was over, but yet it remains to be ongoing. October through December is the time of year I have deal with emotion and down time. I take it one day at a time for now,