Another week has begun. My dialysis weekend ends today, and this is one weekend I was looking forward to until yesterday. I’m not too fond of it when my two caregivers talk the way they do when taking care of me, and they want me to get checked out. I have to call my doctor today to schedule a mammogram as soon as possible because JP found a lump, and I have a history of cysts and cancer that does not run in the immediate family. When JP freaked out after she and JM left, I cried because I was scared and upset. Yes, I was unhappy with them talking while I could hear them. My dad and his wife, SK, do that all the time. I listened to their conversation when they were talking about what I did wrong—on purpose. I’m not too fond of it, and I know that hate means to love less. I will make a couple of calls today.
Personal Cares
Life with personal cares continues in the home. It is going smoothly, and February is going by fast. The company My Choice Wisconsin has some issues that settle in JP’s gut wrong. One of the girls, S, is fashionably late, and I wouldn’t say I like it. She has another job with another company called Christian Services. With one of the clients she did work with and gave up, and she never said the name of the client, the story makes me feel the company Christian Services is one company I would not want to use. It sounds like it is not a trustworthy company. As for the other girl, SP, I like her very much. When the other company R Family Care Services LLC, was still coming in, one day, K came in, and she smelled like weed because she admitted to me that she smoked it. SP told her that she smelled like weed, as if she got done smoking it in her car. I found that bold and amazingly shocking. JM, JP, and I were letting R Family Care Services LLC go at the end of the week Friday and giving My Choice Wisconsin the job. Good luck with this company. They are working for me because DH is on medical leave. Thank goodness her medical leave is ending soon. It will be great to have her back, and the strangers will be gone. Yes, although the girls coming in are friendly and get things done before they leave for the day, they are strangers.
Dialysis
Another week has begun. My dialysis weekend is ending, and tomorrow begins, a new week of treatment. This is the first weekend I was looking forward to until today—until JP and JM started talking about going to the ER to get my breast checked because JP found a lump in my right breast. I have a history of cysts in my breasts and kidney. JP’s anxiousness got me upset and scared, but the tears and crying didn’t come until the girls left.
A Memory Lapse?
For some reason, I forget my passwords for MyChart and Microsoft Word. That is getting old, and it drives me crazy, but at times I do not mind.
Journaling
I am feeling better emotionally but still have my emotional lows and upsets. Still, wheelchair and bed bound because I still am waiting for treatment to be approved for my foot – the right foot. I have cerebral palsy. I have not walked since July 2022.
As far as journaling goes, I love using my computer or tablet. It works well for me. I have also noticed that my want or need to journal has returned now that I have been home. The wish to journal while I was in the nursing homes after my hospitalization twice made me feel upset and anxious, and I admit I was also depressed. Being threatened that I was not going home again made me cry and scream. I was even and excuse my language, Jesus—pissed off to the point that Dr. H at Mercy North Clinic has become an ‘I love you less’ doctor and went to Mercy South Clinic where doctors learn—residents who go through three years of learning. Also, many of the doctors are from other countries. My kidney doctors are from India. I love how they take care of their patients. I love Dr. A and Dr. S. after four and a half years.
A Change
Now that I am going to Mercy South Clinic my new doctor is Dr. H. I will not return to Dr. H at Mercy North. She has left a bad taste in my mouth and my mom’s, JP’s, and JM’s. My mom did not like Dr. H’s conduct by not answering her need to talk to me, nor did her nurse being hostile toward me. That is grounds for dismissal by not to that doctor anymore. I do not care if a doctor has 200+ patients. Doctors should not give up on their patients for any reason, as she kept me in a nursing home because I could not walk. She also would not order a Hoyer lift in my house. The nursing home, St. Elizabeth’s nurse, and the doctor ordered the Hoyer lift for me. Bless their hearts even though I will never return there in the future. I wish I could return, but that nursing home lacks enough nurses. JP and I agreed that I would return to Evansville Manor if necessary. There are enough nurses there despite the injury (hematoma) I received, and I cannot prove it. That makes me mad. I think I got it when they turned me to change my underwear after a bowel movement, and my body was going one way, and they were going in the opposite direction. I felt and heard a pop near my hip that made me unable to stand. Also, they were rough with me during therapy.
A Death I Did Not Think Would Happen
A former teacher’s husband passed away on July 11, 2022, from Covid. He was eighty-seven years old. Seeing the announcement/obituary my friend/ex-boyfriend SS sent, I felt sad. I did not cry, but I was miserable. I was still in the hospital getting over Covid from July 18-28: 2022. Yes, I found out while I was hospitalized last summer, 2022. My heart goes out to the family. I understand that something may have happened to my former teacher’s hub, and from seeing a post that was a picture of the family for a special occasion in 2019. We are not friends on Facebook. I just noticed that she, my former English teacher, the post and read about it. It made me very happy to see it. She looks beautiful, being in her late eighties. When her husband died, it was their sixty-fifth last year, one milestone many couples do not reach for unknown reasons, health issues, surprises, and such. My Grandpa and Grandma Fox died from health issues—Alzheimer’s with Grandpa Clarence and congested heart failure with Grandma Myra (My). My Grandpa Karnopp died in 1974, and Grandma Karnopp-Batchelor passed away in. 1985. I was four and fifteen years old. Yes, my grandparents have been gone for a long time now. My Grandma Karnopp-Batchelor was eight-five.
Dialysis
I have thirty-six minutes left. I will write more when I got home and settled. I just got done with treatment and have to me to call Specialized Transit at 1 PM. I have been working on my journal since I got settled in my chair for 2 hours and 45 minutes.
When being picked up after dialysis, I want to get home sometimes. Today my mood is good, and I can wait to call. Yes, it is cold out, but I am not in a rush today. JP is having lunch with a family member. I have plans to get home, get in bed and eat lunch, get snacks, and watch television. I have been watching Psych and Drop Dead Diva, 6 PM and 8 PM movies, Murder, She Wrote, or Game Show Network (GSN). It depends on what the episodes are. I am getting off the topic. I am getting back on topic now.
Weather Update
For Wisconsin, I have to admit that we expect some nasty weather tomorrow and Thursday. The question is, ‘Am I going to dialysis tomorrow?’ More likely not, but we shall wait and see in the morning to see if I will be going to dialysis. Most likely not. The weather is supposed to be stormy with high winds that can cause the power to go out all around. That’s scary to some point, but God will protect my neighbors, friends, and family and me through this storm. I know I will let God protect everyone around me and me.
I talked to my dad briefly through a text and told him how bad the weather was going to get here in Janesville, Wisconsin, and he texted back, saying that the weather was getting bad in Milwaukee. As bad as it is supposed to get – high winds, sleet, snow, and more ice. It can knock the power out. I may make it to dialysis tomorrow. My friend JM, also a caregiver, will text or call me to let me know if I can go to dialysis because my caregiver, JP, may not make it tomorrow morning if the roads are bad and she can not get to her car safely. She will not drive when it is very icy.
