Kristi Karnopp's Diary & Blog

Good morning. My caregiver Deb will be here in an hour and fifteen minutes from now. I did not sleep the best last night because I was keyed up a little bit from JP’s rough time getting her birthday gifts from Bath and Body Works. If she was having difficulty getting her points on her point system Bath and Body Works three times in a row, I would never shop at that store again myself. Their point system never works properly anyway. I never got anything from them either with their point system, either.

I am in one of those moods you do not want to cross me in any way, and I swear to God, JP has crossed me more than once today. You do not get upset at people who are trying to help you figure things out, but not being successful. JP loses her temper fast at times and it scares me. Telling her to cal, down is not always easy especially today was not doable at all. I let her have her rant even though it was driving me mad in the head. The person on the 800 number could not help JP and other callers. She finally left to take care of the problem she was having at Bath and Body at the mall.

I went to get my nails done. I will go back on the 28^th to get them done again. My gal charges a good enough price. The price is lower than the price at Grand Nails and Spa. The Cat’s Meow is just down the street from me on S. Main St. After Milwaukee Street, the N. Main Street turns into S. Main Street. It is nice to have places nearby your apartment complex. After my nail appointment, we went to BMO to get some quarters and money for DH because she went grocery shopping f for me when Jackie was sick.

It was a fair day.

 At ER waiting to go back to get cathed for a UTI. We waited three hours to get in a room to get checked out and to find that I do not have a UTI. We waited as our turn came not any sooner than normal. The girl behind the window—the receptionist—was rude and unkind. Because of my history of UTI’s, I have strange symptoms at times. I was uncomfortable down there in my vagina, and that is a symptom I go by. Knowing I do not have an infection—thank goodness—I now have to drive home in my power chair home in the dark.

My Drive Home in the Dark

My drive was not too bad. I had my power chair lights on so drivers can see my chair in the dark. With it being black, I was nervous about driving home, but JP was nearby and by the time we got to the light, I was home safe in a few minutes going on speed #4 across the street. Going over the bridge at night was a little nerving, but knowing how to drive during the day does help. This is night now, and this was my first night drive from the hospital. Will I drive at night, again? Maybe as long as someone is with me. 

Under the train bridge, there were large rocks. I hit one or a couple of them and my feet rests hit the wall. Yep, I crashed into the wall of the bridge, but recovered soon enough to get home, to the corner of Franklin Street and Center Avenue. Crossed the street at the light and went over the bridge stopping to go slowly over the metal grates in the sidewalk. I have to go slow over them, or I lose control of my power chair. I want control of my chair more so than anything. Did the dark phase me? I gave all I had to give at 6 o’clock in the evening when now it is dark by 5 pm or even 4 pm. Now, winter is coming. It is November 2023 now.

Made it home. I crossed another street. N. Main Street at the light for the first time. JP met me at the corner of N Main St and Center Ave crossing N Main to get to Pease Ct, where the building I live in, Garden Court. Night drive again? Maybe.

Not feeling it this morning.

Later in the Day 

JP and I decided to go to and gravy Citrus Café for her birthday dinner. She had biscuits and gravy. For ththird time, her biscuits and gravy was not their best. She also had pancakes. I had chicken strips and hash browns. Citrus Café does not have baked potatoes. Never! That sucks! We plan to have Hacienda Real soon, though.

What a fine Saturday today turned out to be. I rarely gif out of bed. I went to the bathroom on the commode since my equilibrium was off this afternoon when DH arrived. She is feeling better now, too. Watched the Twilight series on Tubi today and missed the second episode of the last series. I had fallen asleep during the last movie. It works for me. Having some sleeplessness m

The weekend is coming. Now that I have dialysis on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have my weekends now. Woohoo! I love it! I did not have physical therapy today because I was not feeling well, and JP allowed me to cancel therapy today and just go to dialysis.

Dialysis Update

Other than being bounced around this week, dialysis has gone well all week. I sit in chair #18 most of the time, but this week I sat in chair #20 and #17. The technicians want to change things up a bit at times. That is what I love about SAM and TIF when I have them as my technicians. They like a change once in a while. This was my last treatment of  the week today. It was another good day.

Plans This Weekend

It is JP’s birthday tomorrow, and she has plans with a friend and her friend’s kids Saturday, so on Sunday, we will go out to eat nearby or get something to eat at her favorite restaurant in town—Mexican.

I have no major plans. I have been watching Midsomer Murders, Murder, She Wrote, and the Twilight Saga series on Tubi. I may watch Twilight Saga again, too. Every Sunday my mom calls and we chat for a few minutes.

Ahhh, a new day and JP is back to work after being sick over the weekend. Now, DH is not feeling well. Oh no! I even got a cold over the weekend around the same time JP got sick with something’s last week. What a trio of illness, right? Right! What a trio of the yucks. This is the worst time of year to get sick—winter weather is coming and going in Wisconsin now, and tenants here at Garden Court do not stay in their apartments when sick. Yuck! I cannot wait to be gone from this place as I am moving when an apartment comes available for me at Riverview Heights, and that will be a while yet. Living here has become unhappy in the past few months, since I have been home from staying at St. Elizabeth’s Nursing Home, and that was a bad experience in my life. Nursing homes have become ho because no one wants to work in nursing homes anymore. The young people do not want to work anymore. I call those young people the lazy generation today. I feel sorry for the generations before now wlieve me. It is very sad.

Goodbye October and hello November. Welcome to cooler to colder weather until Spring. I am not looking forward to the colder weeks ahead, either. The way the months have gone by as quickly they have been, I doubt the months of November and December will go by very quickly. Who knows? The only being who knows, is Jesus. 

With November playing it’s thirty days the best it can. I am dealing with some depression. I have been dealing with major anxiety these days as well. JP and I have been having some shouting matches these days, too. With my anxiety and depression in the past year now has proven to be the worst I have dealt with. I do not like my shouting matches. I am afraid of myself when I get that way—I am very mean—I can get mean. I need medication to correct the high and lows, of my brain. Right now, I have to wait to see a new doctor on November 16,2023 and January 5, 2024, when it comes to my primary care. I want to leave Mercy Health System and go to SSM Health, too. My trust in Mercy Health System has been very low in the past year since I left St. Elizabeth’s Nursing Home. There is doctor I wish to see her license be pulled. I am not going to see this doctor again, either. Will her license be pulled? Probably not.

Garden Court

My life at Garden Court has become unhappy. I just want to come and go from this place more so than anything. I do not care to be among other tenants who love to chat although I feel more welcome with these chatty neighbors. The other day, coming into the building tenants waved at me as I rolled past them to the elevator to my apartment. With a bad cold and JP bee sick this week, it has been difficult to get to the lobby to see other tenants anyway. Depression sucks—literally.

On October 27, 2023, a fire started on the fourth floor in an apartment. It was chaotic as management and maintenance running around and calling the fire department. Although the fire was only in an apartment, there were several fire trucks and firefighters involved with the case. The fire did not spread to further apartments, but it was still scary and nerving.smoke was coming from the fire into the lobby downstairs four floors below. I was worried and anxious about getting Magic Kitty to safety, and the anxiety had built up to panic. The management had their alarm going off to let other tenants know to evacuate the building, but no one was going out. Wow! No one heeded the alarm to evacuate! By then, anyway, the fire was out and the firemen inside were cleaning up their mess. The firemen outside were picking up their hoses and getting ready to leave. Because fire trucks and police officer vehicles were in the driveway and blocking other vehicles on Main St and Pease Court, my tide to therapy had to pick me up by the old Red Cross building. What an experience I do not to experience again.

Garden Court was built in the 1970’s and is an older building that needs to be updated. Has it been updated? I do not know, but I do know that tenants were displaced for a while worn apartments were being remodeled a few years ago. My friend DC has lived here long enough to experience that. Now, since that fire, JP had heard that the tenant who had the fire was being evicted becaude of the fire. Did he cause the fire because of his stupidity or did the fire happen because of electrical? Where did JP hear that this tenant is being evicted? I cannot take what I hear from any tenant like JP does. I do not want to believe what tenants say about other tenants unless I see it for myself that someone is going to be evicted. I wish JP would not believe what she hears, but I cannot convince her at all.

Garden Court 

What a flurry of excitement this morning at Garden Court while management and maintenance were handling the emergency that occurred while I was waiting my ride to physical therapy. Fire trucks line Main St and Pease Ct. to take care of fire if went wild from an apartment that had the fire. I was worried and panicking about getting Magic to safety in case the building had vacate. It was an experience I was not ready for because I have been dealing with some raw emotions lately due to depression. I need to find a counselor and get on depression and anxiety meds as soon as possible. With Fall turning into Winter is the time I begin to feel the changes in my mood, and my mood swings have been pretty bad these days. I have asked my caregiver DH to come back just in case Magic is needed to go to a safe place. By the time DH had arrived, the fire was out and they were cleaning up the mess. Since it was smoke that had me and other tenants go outside for fresh air, I have to admit that in case we needed to evacuate the building for a while, there was absolutely no way I was going to see Magic succumb to a fire. The fire was out by the time DH got here, but she went up to be with him for a while anyway. Did I expect my cat, a little while later, be laying on my bed with no care in the world I was not there for the next four to five hours? Umm, no. DH sent me a photo of him laying on my bed and enjoying his time away from me—that stinker of a cat. Magic Kitty taught me something today I will never forget. Anyway, with DH back at my place for a few minutes, he got his num nums and some extra attention.

Surrounded By Death Now

Please do not think I am strange because I look at the obituaries of those who have recently passed away. I am at the age now that death is around me. I just learned that a church member I got to know has passed away. Everyone called him ‘Mick’. I got to know him from 1999-2023 even though the past few years we have not spoken to one another because his phone number no longer existed, and his living arrangements had changed. His wife ‘Char’ had gone into a nursing home because of her failing memory. I feel sad but happy Mick is not suffering.

I will not forget how yesterday turned out for a very long time. The emotions I dealt with were anger, crying and tears, a very bad night for sleeping, no physical therapy because I had to leave to go see KG  about get the help I need for my depression and counseling, and when I woke up at 8:09 a.m. this morning and JP is not here yet. I did get some sleep last night. When JP did get here before 8;30 a.m. I realized that I did not take my night meds. Oops! I had finally fallen asleep and got some rest. I forgot to my meds last night, but I did not forget tonight at 7 p.m..

Ok, yesterday was one day I felt was my lowest of the lows I have felt in a while. Yes, the past year and a half has been rough and my strength was a little weak. Comparing from when I started physical therapy two sessions ago, my third session ends at the end of the month of November. I have eleven to twelve sessions left before I am done for a long time this time. My insurance company has cancelled three of my sessions a week ago

What can I say about today? JP is taking an antibiotic for an infection because she has sinus issues and sinus issues this time of year. We sat and watched Midsomer Murders on Pluto all day long and JP rested and got us lunch at Culver’s. I paid for lunch. JP left before 4 p.m., and now I am getting ready for bed. Lol, I have been in bed all day. It was my lazy day today even though I may a trip to the bathroom once this morning. I hope JP feels better soon!

I am going to say good night. Good night everyone.