So Much On My Mind Today!!!

In the Mail

It was just recently that I had learned of something that really bothers me even in this heart of mine. My ex-roommate has done something so bad that I had to write her a letter and put it in the mail saying she was no longer welcome here at my place because I thought she was a friend and a friend does not do what she has done to me. Here is the letter:

November 7, 2002



I thought that you were a friend. A friend does not do what you have done. You are no longer welcome to my place anymore. I am sorry this has come to this but I do not feel comfortable with you in my place anymore. If you call me, I have caller ID and I will keep tabs on how many times you call and I have a copy of this very letter. Do NOT call me in regards to this letter. I will NO LONGER pick up the phone if you call.


Honestly, my heart does not feel comfortable with confrontation so I was told that writing a letter to the person you want to let them know how you feel is a good idea and so when it is time to confront the person or persons, it will be easier to talk to that person about the problem or problems. To be very honest with you, the persoon I wrote the letter to seems to be a troublemaker and talking to her is like you are talking to a brick wall or something. She seems, to me, to be an instigator of argument or anything just to annoy you on purpose. What a life I live, huh? It seems everywhere i go, I run into some problem with something or someone. LOL


12:30 – 1:00 p.m.

After yesterday’s fiasco in the hallway with this other tenant yelling at me, I went to the manager’s office this afternoon to write out an incident report as the manager asked me to do. I had that on my mind al night long that it bothered me greatly this morning while i was at school, SMILE… I did not wanta to write the incident report but it was highly suggested by the manager and I did not have a cohice in the matter. Anyway, it is done and over with and the report is going to the respectable people to get the problem taken care of. Anyway, my heart is now at ease about thiis whole matter.

My Heart At Ease?

The letter i sent to :”K” is go9ng in tomorrow;s mail and it will soon reach her home. I am not unhappy about writinng the letter, but what is probably going to be coming is what makes me heart jump a beat or two OR EVEN THREE! I know, because I have been told this, that whatever happens after “K” gets the leter and reads it, is going to be her problem, and I DID ask her to not call me anymoore, but she is the type of person to stir up trouble. EEEEK! Okay dokey, my heart is not too troubled now, I HOPE!

7th Heaven NightK

Monday nights are 7th Heaven nights, and I am surprised that I can even write what us in ny mind at this time! The television is directly behind me against the wall and I have to do a comoplete turnaround to see the TV and it is a pain sometimes, LOL 7th Heaven tonigiht is real good tonight!! I wonder how it is goiing to end and what is to happen next week now. Will Lucy and her boyfriend still have a relationship after her boyfriend runs into an old flame? EEEK! I can not think at this time on having a boyfriend with the schedule I have. I have such a hectic schedule right now as far as school is concerned and what my life is like as a person. In fact, I am not even talking to anyone on MSN or ICQ or Yahoo tonight because I have no time to talk to many people although it is tempting to do so right now.

The Holiday Remembrance Program

Yesterday afternoon I had gone to a program at one of our city’s churches called a Holiday Remembrance Program. The program was held by the Hospice Team Care of our city. I had gone because I had lost my friend Christiine after a 25 year old friendship and relationship that meant a lot to both of us. I have found closue at this program and I am VERY GLAD of that! I do not know yet, but I might go to Ft. Atkinson, Wisconsin Saturday afternoon, but transportation might be hard to find as my friend Mark might not be able to transport me back and forth. His schedule is not always compatible with my schedule but that’s ok.

I Hate ‘Em!

Ok, men and boys, if you wish to continue at this point, please feel free to leave. I have my period and I hate it this month! All day Saturday, when I wanted to be at church and Sabbath school, I could not leave my apartment because the cramps were just horrible and I had a heating pad on my abdomen most of the day on and off. I even remember passing out and waking up to the neighbor below me making noise. I felt I was awakened rudely but then again the neighbor below me probably had her windows open and the wind probably caught the door a couple of times. But again it happened twice and it vibrated my livingroom floor – her ceiling. It sounded horrible. The walls in this place is so thin and you can hear a lot in the neighbor’s apartment next door. This place is NOOT for couples who are young and getting out in the world as a family or couple. I can fully understand now why my friend “C” and her husband left this place – this place is NOT for couples at all who want to have sex now and then. YUCK! I hate my periods! This one was very heavy and somewhat a pain. I felt irritable and crabby and did not want anything to do with some people. Even though I hate my periods, I am GLAD I get them at a timely manner every month. That is a relief on my heart anyway.

Sorry About the Font Here

I did not want to deal with changing the font today so I left it as it is at default. sometimes I just feel that keeping things as is is a good thing for many reasons under.

The Feeling of Unhappiness Creeping in!

I have lived at Teamster Manor since April of 1998 and I really loved it here at first so much, but the love of this place died some time ago. A place like Teamster Manor you have a varity of people and you learn quickly who you can trust, care for, and appreciate. Of all the people in this building, I only have six people I can really associate with without problems. I have only three people I can trust as far as my perosnal thoughts and feelings without it getting all around this building. Horrible, huh? Sometimes I tihnk so moore than other times i guess. after what happenped yesterday, trust has been betrayed with one person and I will no longer allow this person to tease me, touch me, or even speak to me. If i ever see this person in the hallway, I am going to mind mmy busiiness. No more trust as far as this guy. Sometimes I wish that this person would learn that he has a bad mouth and a bad attitude, and that he upsets many tenants around here. I being a victim of this iman’s meanness. What a jerk he really was yesterday and I am glad that I wrote an incident report today to take care of the problem. What goes around comes around sooner or later and I did not do anything wrong here whatsoever. I feel that my happiness outside my apartment has been restricted pretty much to school and inside my apartment. I can not visit the community room anymore without feeling uncomfortable because a few of the tenants just sit there and gossip and spread such horrible rumors. If I go down and wait for a ride, I sit out in the lobby area to read a book or watch for my ride at the window by the door, and if the weather is decent, which won’t be much longer, I sit outside at the picnic table. I WILL NOT MOVE FROM THIS PLACE NEVER so please no one say anything regarding that. Thanks.


It is 8:30 p.m. and it feels a lot like it is much later. I am getting tired now and I am dressed for bed. I had company for a few minutes when Mom came up to get all her e-mail deleted from her e-mail box. Thanks for taking the time to read such along entry tonight and I will write more another time – tomorrow if I can and have time. Good bye for now. “Sigh”

Life is not always a bowl of ripe cherries…that’s for sure!!!

About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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