Sunday, March 9, 2003

I really do not have a whole lot of time to write here this morning as my grieve counselor will be here in a half an hour or so to see me. I had awakened to Emilee meowing and pawing at me to wake up, which is a nice version of an alarm clock comparing it to a loud buzzing sound from an electric clock or something of that sort. Anyway, I had to look in on the neighbor’s cat before my counselor came at 9 a.m. so I had gotten up at 7:30 a.m. and went to the neighbor’s apartment and checked on Oreo the cat. I had also, inbetween, visited my friend Richard and then came up and got dressed for the day. Wanting to get out for a while sounds like a good idea “cabin fever according to Richard. He wants to take me out for brunch and then visit the flea market. Otherwise right now it is fairly quiet.

Last Night’s Bad Dream

I had a bad dream last night. Nellie Mom is the manager of this apartment complex so when I dreamt about the fact that Nellie Mom had given her two week notice to leave her job, I freaked out. Why did I freak out? Nellie Mom had to move from the apartment building and leave the manager’s apartment to the new manager who was coming in. She told me that sheh was leaving at the end of the month on March 31st. March 31st was the day of my grandpa Clarence’s memorial! I cried and cried that Nellie Mom was leaving and the fact that she could not make it to the memorial services. I stood in the hallway watching men and women from outside bring boxes and more boxes into the building and into Nellie’s apartment. It was a horrible sight to see. End of dream.

Thankfully it was just a dream. Nellie Mom is planning on giving up her job one of these days and getting away from here but that is yet waiting for the time. The way the tenants are in here, at least most of them, I do not blame Nellie Mom wanting to leave here and get away. I would not work here as a manager myself with all the complaints, gossip and rumors coming and going. It is not quiet around here.

This Place I Live In!

The other day I felt that REB had gotten too close to my personal space so I squealed. As I squealed, I did not think of the tenants in the community room and lobby area. Nellie Mom, acting as Mother more or less than “the manager” called me later in the afternoon telling me that the tenanats in the community room probably think that REB was coming on to me and she told me that it will not be long that the whole building will know. First of all, REB was not coming on to me – only was he in my personal space at the moment and teasing me. I do not care what the tenants think as Nellie, REB, myself, and God know the truth. See what I feel I live in on a daily basis? Just like Nellie wanting to leave here, I too want to leave here. Too much gossip and rumors fly around here to the point it makes me so sick to my stomach. I am so glad that I can get out of here for the day most days. Some of the stories I hear are rediculous and far too dumb for me. Sometimes I wonder why some people can even sit and listen to junk and untruths and such. That makes me so sick to my stomach even more so. No wonder I want to leave this place for the day and come back home and lock my apartment door to everyone except Nellie Mom, REB, Nana, and Bill. I do not let anyone in from the outside unless I know them or know that they are coming for a visit. I remember one day when my friemd Cheri had come up to help me clean my closet, the buzzer went off to let me know that someone from the outside was visiting me. I had answered the buzzer…

Counselor is here…finish later when I have time in Sunday, March 9, 2003 Pt 2