Here I am, on a Tuesday morning, waiting for noon to arrive when Rick will be here. I have a couple of things I need to do today but the heat is kind of bad today so I am limiting myself today and taking it easy. I am home now and have been since July 25th and I am feeling a little blah and good at the same time. Does it make sense?!! Ever since I have met Rick, my boyfriend now, I have been running around and hardly ever home and with what goes on around here, I would like to be away from home as much as possible, but I have a home to go to now and I feel safe in my home. I do have a life again! The only thing that bugs me is the fact of who I can trust now and who I can not trust. I did not want anyone to know I was going to be gone on vacation and almost whole building learned. Rick took care of Emilee while I was away on my trip from the 18th – 25th because I could not allow my friend to do it this time after finding out that she hangs around the “troublemakers” of this place I live in. It hurts my heart to even think of it but I do not appreciate being used or taken advantage of. What gets me now is the fact that I will not allow myself to take care of this neighbor’s cat anymore because of what this neighbor does. What hurts me more is the fact of another tenant who lives here does not even talk to me and acts as if she does not recognize me but then she is playing games because she also hangs with the “troublemakers”. I can not even call her anymore even for AVON orders because I can not trust her either. It can be horrible here at times and I am sorry I have to let some friends go in my life. You see, I have a life outside this place as well as here and I have two Christian friends I can trust annd then two others so that takes only four people I can talk to around here. I am a part, according to the “troublemakers” the group against them when “they” are the bad group in the first place. Do I feel sorry for the “triublemakers”? Nope! THey have chosen their road and I am not going to be a part of that road. I feel like Jesus Christ being mocked and taunted even though his experience was far greater than mine really. What really hurts my heart is the fact that RH is being bothered by the “troublemakers” to be a part of their group to be against me and my surrogate Mom. I told him if he did go that route, we will not be speaking to each other ever again and I will n0t have anything to do with him ever again. I have this feeling that it will happen sooner or later. He will be considered a backstabber then!!!!

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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