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Oh my goodness…it is going on 11:30 p.m. here on Saturday night. Not much is going on here except a quietness all around me and my thoughts on the words scrolling on this page. I just finished posting posts at a couple of groups I am in and involved in at Yahoo and then realized I better write an entry before midnight tonight. My thoughts are not raging exactly but they seem to be a little restless right now. It does not scare me as I am able to sort out my thoughts and get them on the screen in front of me but they are trying to fight a big fight of what goes first. Anyway, not knowing how short or long this entry is going to be, I do know that the words I want to share tonight will be written before I go to bed. I am not, thankfully, having a problem with depression or anxiety beyong my control right now. God is in control and I am keeping that way. I have noticed, since my trip to New Mexico, things have come and gone and my emotions have been more calmer and subdued but not totally. Anxiety is still playing a role in my life daily somewhere. It is just controlled at the moment.

This week has been a good week for me in reality and in daygreams. I have decided to go back to school and pick up the Accunting Program at another college…so I will be taking online classes instead of attending classes physically. I think that will help my worst days and I could be in the worst mood ever and be home dealing with it. It is not my local two year college, Blackhawk Technical College. It is some school at home college in Arizona. I filled out an enrollment application this morning with the person, a counselor, who will be working with me throughout my attendance at this online school. All my classes will be on line — tests too, WOW! Someone won’t leave me alone reagarding this Accounting Program as the feelings of continuing is still very strong even after so many weeks of wanting to forget school altogether. I have a dear friend who is not going ot let me give up either! What a dear friend. I just have to send papers by fax my counselor will need to continue my enrollment at this school, and I am very excited abuut that…GREATLY!

This week, cleaning my apartment, I have noticed that my apirits are up and I am feeling good despite the wintry weather we have outdoors right now. The sun has not been shining its normal glow, but I have been doing pretty good this week. It beats having a clean apartment…it is depressing not to. Anyway, I have decided to change my attitude this year of 2005. I just wonder how long I will now keep this apartment clean again. I am going to do my best. Tomorrow I have to do some dishes that have accumulated this yesterday and today and tomorrow. I am not going ot have a messy apartment again! How many times have I told myself that? More than I can count and that is not very funny. I always seem to get in my messy moods too! I hate them messy moods.

Remember when I have talked about the neighbor across the hall causing some grief in here and will be moving at the end of this month? Well, she was in her apartment with her company, and I could hear her from my apartment so clearly that it was not funny. She is so vocally loud and it was annoying because I was trying to make dinner and relax. She was preaching or something, and it seemed she was yelling a lot during this vocal loudness. I could not even think for myself or go anywhere in my apartment to shut her off. It seemed that bad for some reason. I cannot wait, now, until she is gone from here for good. I hope she is moving soon! She has caused a lot of grief here lately…with her lies and denials of many things. I do not take any lying from anyone who is considered a friend – not a friend in my book anyway. she stabbed me in the back more than once, too. Relief is coming!!!!! Whew!!!

It is now going on 11:50 p.. I think I am going to go for the night and come bakc tomorrow sometime. I have had a good day today and wish to get some rest. I slept good in my bedroom last night all night long and I need to go to bed. Emilee Cuddlss here has been waiting patiently for me up until now, lol. She has retired to the bedroom to finish waiting for me. I am going to shut the lights off and close my eyes and go to sleep…hopefully not on the couch. LOL

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

1 thought on “??”

  1. Good for you! An online school where you can do all your work from the comforts of your home is fantastic!

    It won’t be long now until your neigbor is gone. I know you’ll be so much happier when that happens.

    I like a clean house too. I can’t relax either if it’s messy.

    Enjoy your Sunday!

    K

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