A friend of mine is going out of town for the weekend and has asked me to take care of her cat so I will be doing that this weekend. My friend visited for a while and went to get lunch for us both from Tony D’s Chicken Hut and the food was tasty but definitely is settling in my stomach kind of hard right now. I have been watching and listening to the program/movie Taken on Sci Fi. A good program. I am not sure of how many parts this movie has but it is showing two parts right now. How many parts are in the movie Taken? I like it because there are few of my favorite actresses and actors in it. Dakota Fanning is one of them — the girl who apparently got abducted by aliens or something. I do not quite understand the movie but intend to give it a shot soon. I want to see the movie from beginning to end anyway. Right now, the movie over with, another television program I like called X-Files is on. I am planning on taking time for myself now that my company has left — once our milkman comes and goes. Not much really happened today as I am trying to take it easy. I am not sure at the moment if we are expecting just rain or going to have a thunderstorm but the sky outdoors is looking a little bit darker at 3:05 p.m. than usual at the moment. I do not like thunderstorms — tolerated them — but never really liked them. I hate the big booms. Oh well, that’s okay, a lot of people don’t like storms. Do we need the rain? I am not too sure about that either. It is hot outside right now — 62 degrees, WOW! I am not sure if I will be back later today or not to write more at the moment. We shall see — if not today — tomorrow will be a new day of my writing. I am just waiting patently for my milkman to return with my order and then get ready for my me time.

Yes, I am now, since my friend has left spending some time with me and Bing, dropping off her house key for her apartment so I can take care of her cat Oreo and buying us lunch at Tony-D’s Chicken Hut, I am going to spend time with myself. With this cold, I am feeling a little drained and on top of it, I am having some joint pain issues and I think it is because of the weather changes we are having today — rain or thunderstorm coming our way. I am also feeling a little bit emotional now that my company has left so she can get ready to leave town to visit her family for the weekend, and I hate that lonely feeling, and Bing is here — not physically here at the moment in the same room as me, but in the house somewhere. I hate that lonely feeling I get. Having CD over really perks my spirits up. I am going to have to use my SAD light today. PHOOEY! And I hope that my case worker calls because I am feeling a little frustration about an issue right now with someone and I need some advice on what to do since this person just does not leave me alone no matter what I say or do to give her the clue that I want her to leave me alone right now— having this person in my life right now would not be healthy for both of us right now. I have my friends I can relate and talk to now and we will go from there maybe in the future. Having to decide on who are my friends and who are not my friends right now is a tough decision to make, and an emotional one at that too. Tears have been shed because of frustration and confusion, and plenty of tears have been shed in the past two weeks. I have heard from another friend of mine about twice in the past two weeks and I could care less if she called me or not but how I feel about our friendship right now has been once again put on hold and I am not going out of my way to call her anymore. If she contacts me, fine, she is allowed, but I am not going out of my way for her anymore the way she made me feel a couple of weeks ago, and she has made me feel like shit and someone on the sidelines feeling like an outsider looking in again, and that feeling stinks to high heaven unfortunately. Life is a mystery no matter HOW we look at life. Let me put it this way, I have issues right now and it is best this person does not be a part of it and I do not care who reads my journal anymore. That is one reason why I have decided to public on everything lately. Yes, maybe my friend will later understand me now if she ever got a hold of my journal here. I do not care. I am finished with people walking all over me and trying to control me and I am not going to allow control from others anymore….I am in control of myself today and i believe my friend is not happy about it because she has her own friends now I wish not to be friends with for personal reasons. Yes, I am venting again. Too much to think about AGAIN! DANG!

Milkman has come and gone now so I can have time for myself. I am going to lock my apartment door, turn off my telephones and have my answering machine pick up phone calls for the rest of the afternoon and evening, and just take me time very seriously. This will be my time with God now. Good bye and see you later or tomorrow (Friday).

About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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