6 a.m. Wednesday Morning

About five hours later I am up, dressed and ready for my day. Sleep was definitely hard to find last night and I was up practically all night. Had a couple of hours of sleep. 3 hours away from my second job shadowing experience now and I wonder how well is going to be once I get there. I just do not know right now. I am tired and I hope, in order to keep my sanity, I am not cranky or a bitch anytime today. I hate being cranky and I definitely hate being a bitch, that’s for sure. My world has been spinning and it has been spinning a lot lately and sometimes I do not know which direction I am going and thankfully I have gone forward in most cases. I am just surprised that I am even up at this hour and I wonder how many neighbors are up at this hour of the morning. I hope I get some sleep tonight or I believe I will go crazy or bonkers or both. What is happening in my world lately has been strange and somewhat unusual. Do I have this feeling that HE will try calling me today? Yes, like every morning I have that fear and thankfully the last couple of days I have had no calls from her, yay and I know that sounds mean and rude but she does not get the message not to call me. I am repeating myself all over again in regard to HE, dang! Once again Bing slept with me most of the night. He was cute while he slept. I never knew Bing as a kitten but I saw kitten in him while he slept and he was cute. He once again only left to go to the bathroom in his litter box and to eat a morsel or two of food and came back to bed to be with me. Right now, after leaving to have a morsel of food again, he is lying on the bed leaning against my pillows. Boy, I wish I had more sleep, dang, I am so tired right now.