Thoughts for July 20

July 20, 2008
12:30 a.m. – 1:44 a.m.

Ok, I was young and once or twice in love with a man, or so I thought at a younger age. To be honest here, I was and still am lacking some emotional understandings of life itself. At one point, my world was thought to have a man in my life to be happy to fill the gaps of what was missing, but today I do not feel that way because I have grown up enough to realize what is realistic and not realistic for me. I still have some troubles with understanding life itself, but I do not give up that easily to understand something of great importance and letting go of what is not important. Personally, to be honest, I do wish that one person in particular in my life I have known since I was in my twenties was more than just my best buddy or best friend but I do ACCEPT our relationship as is because our lives are perfect as they are, and God has plans for me somewhere. Okay, I am feeling like I am straddling the fence of decision here but I am speaking true of my own, pounding heart of love and patience, and compassion.

First of all, one might ask “why is she, this woman bringing up such a personal thought up? Well, that can be happening because she has an idea as to why , and it is not of jealousy, but of concern. If I find out later that it is jealousy, I will just scream so loud to shatter the silence around me for a while! I am concerned that someone, who has been in my life for almost 3 years now, has found love too quickly or does not understand the meaning of true love. A couple of red flags popped upped immediately when she has told me that her man/boyfriend is looking at houses on the market for him, his son, and her, and the fact that her boyfriend just broke it off with his girlfriend before going out with this person I am deeply concerned about, and he is on the rebound. Feels high schoolish to me and when a person is on the rebound it means to many people trouble in paradise. Something smells very fishy about this whole idea and my cat Bing does not even eat fish! DANG!

About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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