A Certain Feeling Will Not Go Away

I have no idea why this certain feeling will not go away … as if obsessed with it due to fear and unsureness. The fear of having to look over my shoulder is coming and going. My apartment door is ALWAYS locked whether or not I have home or not home. The only time it is not locked is when I have company over for a while like on Tuesdays and Fridays. I rarely have company over now-a-days because I am busy with school and classes, and life. Knowing now that a certain colleague from elementary and middle school is a registered sex offender has gotten my dander up a bit — whether I am at home with the door locked and or out in public areas enjoying myself. Getting away from Teamster Manor for a couple of hours or so has been a major must for me and having to come back to Teamster Manor has been like pulling teeth like when my parents took me clothes shopping for the school year before it started and I hated clothes shopping then and still do unless I really have to now. This registered sex offender to me no longer has a first or last name but jerk, pervert, and a**hole. He IS NEVER GOING TO TOUCH ME AGAIN! … EVEN A HUG! Oh yeah, I forgot that this idiot is a liar and a creep. What else can I say?!

Also where I live, the safety of my apartment is where I am most safe and comfortable. I go out and downstairs very little now because of the feeling of safety behind locked doors. Even with that said, knowing that tenants stop by my door and listen to any conversation that goes on in my place has been founded a invasion of my privacy and space. The idea of not involving myself with anyone in here is beginning to happen and my world is not a part of the world outside the door of my place anymore. The feeling of uncertain emotions have plagued me — the safety of my home is safety to me. Even the former management has given me the creeps lately and I once trusted the former management with all my heart until most recently.

What has this world come to?

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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