Afternoon Thoughts

I think it was a mistake having CSE come down to stay this afternoon after helping me. She is gone now doing her thing and laundry this afternoon instead of doing her laundry from 6 pm to 8 pm. Her attitude got weird on me before she left and I just do not understand her anymore and I am done trying to understand her from this day forward. I do not know what to believe or understand with her anymore. I should have sent her home after she helped me this afternoon. I think I am going to have tomorrow to myself again but not sure yet. Anyway, while CSE was here, we began watching a movie together – still in need to finish watching it when she does return for supper. Anyway, I am confused – very confused – when it comes to CSE. She IS NOT the same person I met in 1998 when I first moved into the building and I still believe it was a mistake – a big one – becoming friends with her all over again. She is not the same person I once knew anymore. Her attitude really stinks today and I believe she really needs to get a reality check now. She needs help big time and I am definitely not the one who can help her. I have talked to NMS about CSE many times but she too is at a loss with CSE just as much as I am. She is sick and needs help and I wish she would get help for her problems but she denies it big time. Here I am getting the help I need for my problems and can not see why CSE won’t get help herself. She is really sick. I will stand firm to believe she needs professional help and one day I hope she does. She is sick and i am getting tired of seeing her so shut out and acting the way she does, I feel I have, thanks to my mistake, my day has been ruined and I can not wait for the weekend where I can seriously be free of CSE for two to three days but I am not sure about that just yet. I just wish she gets the help. Something is terribly wrong with CSE and I cannot see her like so anymore. SHE NEEDS HELP! Do I have to walk away from her for a while again? I believe I do in order to stay sane and right now I do not feel totally sane … at the moment that is anyway. AARRGG!!