Time Still Moves Forward…

Last night/evening I ended up talking to my surrogate mom NMS about things – life in general. If I did not talk to someone – NMS – I am not sure if I would have talked to anyone else. Both NMS and I are struggling with CSE and her change in demeanor as if she has become a whole different person altogether. I have had troubles with relationships in the past but not so much trouble as I have had with my relationship with CSE – friend or not. The past couple of days now I have been tearing/crying, patience is very thin so it makes my tolerance level non-existent – especially with CSE. NMS said the next time I invite CSE to my apartment and she does not show up within 10 minutes after the allotted time, I can lock my door and when she knocks at my door I should tell her we have to get together another time. We have – NMS and I, did not wait for her when we went to the cooking class 1 minute when she was not there on time. Tenants were not there, outside, when we left or came back but CSE did say she went downstairs and saw that we were gone. Neither NMS or I can not understand what has happened to the girl we once knew.

Anyway…

Time does move forward… My planet/world is still mine. I just wish I can have CSE in it more. I just can’t and NMS understands my feelings about and with CSE big time.

About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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