Playing It Safe

Right now I am playing it safe with CSE. I will not be having her down here for a long time again. If she wants me, she will have to text me, come down to my place, and call me for a while. After yesterday, seeing her in a state of mind that was not like her, I decided to discontinue her coming down for a while. She had left my apartment to make a phone call and she would be right back and that was shortly after 7 pm. She did not return until after 9 pm last night telling me nothing of a visit she had at her place until Bing started acting strange around her and then she told me that she other animal smells and gave the names of the animals. Made me think that she had visitors over who brought their pets and pets are not allowed from the outside – visiting pets are not allowed. So from now on, with some of CSE’s friends from the outside I do not know or care to know, Bing and I are staying away from CSE again. CSE raises so many questions of sanity on my part and has been part of my problem with anxiety and panic. After my last bout of anxiety and panic finally ending, I do have to say that CSE is part of the triggers. She is not going to be invited down to my place again and abandon me over and over again for other friends who seem to deem top rated over what our friendship once rated so wonderful – not anymore. My door is locked to CSE from now on. She did not even hear or understand what I needed yesterday and acted out of this world. She was in a far away world. I have to play it safe once again.