A New Month With the Same Feelings Creeping Up & More

As time moves forward, whether I like it or not, I am learning a lot around me that is indeed in need of addressing.  Trust is definitely among several of the learning processes I am in the need to address and yet understand.  I am a kindhearted person and I find myself being hurt in some way that makes the heart ache with a pain that just crushes me.  I have already walked away from people I have considered friends for a long time and now do not consider them friends any longer for good reason.  The idea of walking away from CSE and NMS was a very tough decision but I could no longer help them without having my own health compromised with consequences that are overwhelmingly downright emotional.  Even where I live today … that has become an obstacle I have to walk through carefully and tread lightly because trust has been found hard to find.  Where I live people tend to get into the business of others so easily and rumors and gossip flies so quickly.  I have become one of those type of people who comes and goes to do what needs to be done outside the building, does business in the office and checks in with the manager once or twice a week in case she does not see me for a day or two.  I keep to myself and I have my friend RS come down to visit with her dog whenever we catch each other as the phone has become a part of our lives as unreachable more of the time than anything.  Yes, I stay close to home – inside it – except to  go grocery shopping, appointments, Weight 0Watchers, church, and Bible study, and activities with friends who live outside the building.  I am not quite yet a shut in – thankfully.  I do not want to become a shut in.

I do have to admit one thing, though.  I am glad a new month has started so some of the feelings I have been harboring for a long time can be released and out in the open to show others that I am only human and definitely not perfect.  Life can definitely throw you some curve balls and you have to be ready for them or battle through life with its after affects.  I know the sun does shine behind the darkness of raw emotion.

With my thoughts and feelings written above, I do have to say that my friend RS and I got together tonight.  In fact, our manager stopped by to see Bing Crosby the cat for a while and chat with us then she left for the evening.  It was a nice visit.  RS and I had Chinese food for supper, watched a Perry Mason TV show from the later 50s – early 60s, Undercover Boss, and a movie from 1985 titled Perry Mason Returns.  I have seen this movie more than once but I have always enjoyed watching Raymond Burr, Barbara Hale, William Hopper, William Topper, and a few other actresses and actors of the 50s and 60s era, and 70s – present.  Raymond Burr may have been gone since 1993 but I do have to say that his Perry Mason and Ironside shows are legends and indeed shows I would indeed watch over and over again.  That is the way it goes in my home and family.  RS and I share similar interests in retro time shows.  I had a great time tonight!

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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